Changing schools can give children the blues

“My daughter was only in upper kindergarten and she’d bring back numerous worksheets (alphabets, spelling and numbers) daily. Worse still, her school had no extracurricular activities. Kids would sit in a box-like classroom all through the day,” recounts Ragini Sharma*, a parent, who like many of her counterparts today, didn’t hesitate to shift her daughter into another school when she found that her unhappy. 

Her daughter looked troubled and had begun to throw a fit every morning, refusing to go to school. Sharma and her husband gathered that something was not quite right. That’s when they decided to look out for another school. Although options were aplenty, screening them thoroughly to ensure she chose the right school this time around was a chore. But she did it because her daughter was distressed.

Sharma had realised that she didn’t want to send her daughter to an academics-oriented school and that one with an alternative-learning approach would suit them better. She and her husband finally zeroed in on an international school. “Considering my daughter was troubled in the previous school, the pleasant change in this school, made it easier for her to adjust into the new setting,” she adds.

There was a time when parents would shift their children from one school to the other only in cases of relocating to a different city, but many parents today accept this challenge if they feel their child is not happy in a school, or they don’t agree with the school’s philosophy and teaching methodologies.

Schools, too, are more accommodating of such needs today, feels Rathi Rajagopal whose son has changed schools thrice. “Each time there were different problems,” she says. Her son is asthmatic and initially studied at a conventional school located at the heart of the city. The classrooms were cramped with nearly 70 students in each class. Teachers were overly strict. After
contemplating for days, Rajagopal decided to scout for a school that had fewer students and accommodated individual needs.

Plenty of international schools had burgeoned, and she chose one. There, she confronted newer problems. “I noticed unpleasant behavioural changes in him,” she says. “He became haughty and arrogant, his eating habits changed and he had scant respect for others.”

The Rajagopals had had enough and this time finding a school that accommodated all their interests was an arduous task. They, too, like the Sharmas, spoke to other parents, visited   campuses of various schools and then chose a suitable one. Finally, Rajagopal is happy. “This school is it. My son is a lot more grounded and well-mannered,” she says.

“Children take time to get used to any change between middle school and high school,” says Ele Smith, Neuro-Linguistic Programming Programming (NLP) practitioner.

Smith explains that at that age, “children are extremely vulnerable to their peers. Their self-image is built on how their peer group perceives them. And they don’t want to hear a negative remark.” So, shifting schools is a challenge unless the school gives the child an open environment and time to adjust.

“Parents should introspect the change they want: Do they want the child to do better or a better environment for the child?” According to her, the latter should be the focus.

Some names have been changed on request