Not Lower Parel, silly; it’s Upper Worli

Trust the real-estate fraternity to create landmarks, and rename them to their convenience. Now, can you imagine the world’s tallest residential building coming up in a location as lowly as Lower Parel? No. So, Lodha’s World One is underway at Upper Worli, the urbane epicentre of Mumbai — that’s how the developer’s website defines the location.

What was a joke doing the rounds in the advertising fraternity in the late 1990s, when the likes of Lintas and Trikaya moved from their tony South Mumbai addresses to Lower Parel — sorry Upper Worli — has now become symbolic of sham addresses.

If Lower Parel has been rechristened — in any case, all its original inhabitants who identified with the old name are on their way out — so have the other areas of the mill land district.

Parel has become Dadar (remember, they share a border) and Sewri sounds better, and more upmarket, as does Wadala. All those inconvenient addresses like Bhoiwada, Kala Chowkie, Ghodapdeo, Tadwadi and Naigaon have been given a brand new umbrella identity — Central Mumbai — that goes well with the developers of the swank high rises that are edging out the crumbling chawls in these historic neighbourhoods.

The marketing teams of builders are beating our politicians hollow when it comes to naming, and extending the jurisdictions.

On one hand, Antop Hill and Koliwada are now part of Sion, and on the other, Shivaji Park extends right up to Mahim Causeway.

And where’s Mahim? Ask the builders. Similarly, Khar-Santa Cruz have been amalgamated with Bandra, and Kurla-Tilak Nagar have been merged with Chembur. After all, while home buyers need the right address, only the postman needs the right pin code.

With builders and real estate agents — sorry realty consultants — working so hard on creating an image, it’s only right that the residents buy the story. Like the good friend who proclaims that he stays in Powai, and maintains a stoic silence when people praise the oh-so-international Hiranandani township. Why bother explaining that you stay in Chandivli, next to the telephone exchange — a good 3km away from the Powai paradise!

Silence is golden and half-truths are divine. So, Jogeshwari can pass off as Oshiwara, Poinsur as Mahavir Nagar Extension and yes, in real-estate terms, Govandi and Deonar as Chembur.
Not to mention the tweaking of addresses like Kalwa, Mumbra and Ghansoli whose mere mention ensures an unfavourable Crisil credit report. And then, there are the folks across the creek, who stick with Navi Mumbai, without getting into the nodal details.

It’s bad enough hearing concerned colleagues in the office say oh-how-do-you-travel-to-Vashi. Now, try telling them you stay in Khandeshwar!