‘My father was the coolest dad’: Soha Ali Khan on her bond with Mansur Ali Khan Pataudi

Much is known about the Pataudi family, but in her first non-fiction work, Soha Ali Khan gives readers a rare insight into the kin’s history as well as her relationship with its various members. One of the heartwarming parts is the portion about her father, Mansur Ali Khan Pataudi, where she shares how despite being a star sportsman, he believed in leading a simple life. Soha tells After Hrs how she enjoyed her father’s company immensely, what was the inspiration behind her book, The Perils of Being Moderately Famous, and why it’s laced with humour.

How did you get the idea for the book?

A few people from Penguin India had approached me. I had toyed with the idea of writing a book. But I didn’t have the discipline to get it done. When this offer came, I thought this was the motivation that I needed. I always felt that if I would ever write, it would be a non-fiction piece as my memory is better than my imagination.

I could rely on my family, my past, my travel, education, relationships and pregnancy and talk about all of this in a humorous way that would resonate with readers.

You had no qualms in admitting that you are moderately famous in a family of superstars. How difficult or easy was it for you pen it down?

I’m a practical person who doesn’t take herself or the world around her too seriously. So, it wasn’t difficult to write the book in such a tone. I don’t have qualms talking about myself, but there are certain things that I like to keep private, so I have a balanced perspective. However, it’s easier to do so with your friends and family, but when you are writing a book, you don’t know who will read it. After all, you are talking to strangers who don’t know too much about you. So, it was important to be honest and consistent, otherwise, it wouldn’t ring true with readers. A lot of it also comes from my father because he had a similar sense of humour. Moreover, I grew up in London where self-deprecating humour is native.

How do you deal with this aspect on a personal level?

On some days, it can be frustrating. When you are recognised by association and people refer to me as Saif Ali Khan’s sister, or Tiger Ali Khan Pataudi’s daughter or Taimur’s aunt, you can choose to laugh about it, which is what I mostly do, but there are occasions when I tell myself that I do have a name. These are things that I have learnt over time. Eventually, you get used to it and learn to embrace it as your identity. The fact is that I do come from a family where everyone is an overachiever, which has brought me more pluses than negatives, so I would never swap it with anything else in the world.

Were you apprehensive about what to share in the book because it touches upon different members of your family?

Yes, especially when it came to my father, who was an extremely private person. But I felt at the end of the day, this was my relationship with him. I was conscious that I shouldn’t write anything that he wouldn’t be comfortable sharing. I have rightly touched upon Bhai and Kareena (Kapoor Khan) in a funny way. It was difficult writing about my mother because my relationship with her is quite deep and complex.

It shows your father in a different light. You have highlighted how he was never lured by consumerist temptations…

I shared a good relationship with him and had a huge amount of respect for him. I’m happy that I put it down because after he passed away, these were the things that I was thinking about. We enjoyed each other’s company immensely. We went on holidays together. He would help me with my school debates, speeches (especially since he was a good orator), homework, and my visa application. I always thought he was the coolest person in the world and I was so lucky to be loved by someone who himself was loved by so many people.

What kind of a bond do you share with your elder sister Saba?

We are just two-and-a-half years apart. We shared the same room and same bed. We fought over toys, so my mom would give us the same presents. When we would get chocolates as return gifts from birthdays, I would eat all of them and she would hoard her share. Then, I would steal them and get in trouble. But we would always stand up for each other. Now, since all of us stay in Mumbai, we see each other all the time. She comes over quite often and babysits my daughter Inaaya. She reminisces how, when I was small, she would change my diaper and was like a second mother to me (smiles).