Surprise!! says Sajid Khan

I just celebrated my 44th birthday two days ago. As the master of suspense, Alfred Hitchcock, had once told the media on his 60th birthday, “I’m not 60, I’m twice 30.” So that makes me twice 22.

Birthdays are a very private affair, unless you are a part of the film industry. The list of invitees ranges from personal friends to professional colleagues. There are people who are well-wishers and  there are people who wish you into a well. Well, that doesn’t make any difference to me as long as they bring along birthday presents. Now birthday presents is a very touchy topic, which is why we’ll touch this topic but not in the present. Nahin samjhe? Samjhaata hoon, samjhaata hoon…

A few years ago, a yesteryear actress, actually make that a yester-yester-yesteryear actress, had a birthday party celebration and fortunately, the fire brigade rushed in to rescue people. You see, what had happened there were so many candles on the cake that the ceiling caught fire!!! Don’t ask me to name this actress. All I can tell you is she’s still alive, but her pet dinosaur passed away a few 100 years ago.

Birthdays are also about feeling special on that special day. But the feeling of supreme invincibility goes completely kaput when you realise you’ve moved one year closer to your demise. This is why surprise parties are a must. Now, usually, surprise parties are thrown by girlfriends and wives. Here, I would like to make a special mention of a friend whose surprise turned into shock because he had to attend two parties – one thrown by his wife and the other by his girlfriend. And guess what! They had common friends. Some surprise party, huh! Well, his name would go down in the Guinness Book of Records as the only man who got divorced by his wife and dumped by his girlfriend the same day.

In school, we had a Math teacher named Mr Furtado. Hitler-esque in his nature towards students, he was truly a terror. But a couple of years later, he became meek as a mouse. That’s when we started the slogan — Furtado ki phat gayi. Kyun phati Furtado ki? You see, his wife and teenage kids had meticulously planned a surprise birthday party for him with all their relatives and friends gathering one hour before he turned up home. What they didn’t realise is that particular day, when Furtado reached the building, the elevator stopped working. Furtado huffed and puffed his way up the stairs somehow (he lived on the 27th floor) to reach his apartment. But his last few breaths gave away in shock when all the guests screamed ‘Surprise’ in unison to the unsuspecting Furtado. The poor guy had a heart attack. Some surprise party! Guests ka dil toot gaya kyunki Furtado ka dil ruk gaya!

Toh bhaiya story ka kya hai moral? Celebrate your birthday the way YOU want to and not the way others want you to. Because it’s better to receive flowers rather than being placed under them. You decide if you want moral support or floral support.