Paradox of Time: Why you need a bit of the past, present and future in your everyday life

Is it not confusing? Some wise men look to the future, and urge you to focus on WHAT CAN BE?

Dr. Seuss

Only you can control your future.

Abraham Lincoln

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

Dr. Seuss and Abe Lincoln compel you to leave aside the past and the present. They urge you think about WHAT WILL BE?  

But then, some people want you to swing to another end of the spectrum, and learn from your past.

Edmund Burke

Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it.

Aldous Huxley

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history.

Edmund Burke and Aldous Huxley, both larger than life thinkers, implore you to learn from your past events, actions, cultures and values and beliefs. Their questions are directed towards WHAT WAS?

Then some people tell, you that happiness could be found in the present moment.

The Teaching of Buddha- The Buddhist Bible: A Compendium of Many Scriptures Translated from the Japanese (1934)

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Eckhart Tolle

The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present.

Thinkers and philosophers urge you to think about, WHAT IS NOW? Which of them is right? All three groups have shades of perfection. Let’s explore this spectrum of colours of the past, future and present.

It is time we embraced the entire spectrum of the past, the present and the future. I think William Wordsworth said it best.

William Wordsworth

Life is divided into three terms - that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present, to live better in the future.

Think about the products you buy or any decisions that you make.  For example, when you are buying a car or a motorcycle, are you buying a car or bike from your childhood dreams? Are you perhaps buying a car that is a tad bit too expensive for your current income? Maybe something that speaks to your social status.  Are you buying a car that is economical to operate and does not put a strain on your finance but is a boring car and maybe not as luxurious or suited to your social status?

These purchase decisions could be around the past, the present and the future. In a few months, you will all get a nice bonus as a reward for your hard work. You can decide to perhaps fulfill a dream from the past. Maybe that dream house your parents spoke about. Maybe the same dream car.  Maybe you might reward yourself with a super holiday or a little shopping spree? Maybe the kids want to go a nice family vacation. Maybe you just buy some boring bonds and secure your future, and have nothing to show for your hardwork for now. Just a vague dream of a secured distant future.

Again, you see how the past, present or future could influence your product purchase behaviour.

Dr Phil Zimbardo is a psychologist who has researched the spectrum of Time Paradox.  His theory suggests that there are six types of time perspectives.

The first two categories are about people who are PAST-ORIENTED.

These are people who stick to promises, commitments and rituals from the past. They can resist the temptation of breaking a promise to fulfill an obligation. These are guys who’d rather pay off a loan than use that little windfall at a car dealership or a small vacation. They would love the company of family and close friends. They may enjoy the comforting rituals at a place of worship. But they are not very comfortable making new friends or exploring social media to reach out to form new experiences, indulge in conversations with strangers.

Perhaps trusted brand names give them security. Perhaps they prefer sticking to older product categories. They need the assurance and comfort of their past experiences.

Maybe a case in point was Maggi Noodles. At the end of the day, in a food-filled world, it is just another product. However, the comfort of our past drove us to yearn for Maggi. An assurance of thousands of years goes into the science of making their products appealing to our past orientation.

People who are past-oriented yearn for stability. They are guided by the past and experience. I meet people who will never leave the Banking or Insurance sector because they are just comfortable in their zone. Some people will refuse promotions and career growth because of this comfort.

1. Past Positive – Where you focus on the positives

Some people get nostalgic about childhood memories. They can easily recall fun memories of vacations, friends and fights. Their positive experiences far outweigh their bad experiences. They love telling and listening to stories about the ‘good old days’. They love the food and flavours of childhood days. They can talk so much about the comfort of a paperback over a Kindle. I still can gush about Asterix, Obelix and Lucky Luke as my guiding role models. I am carrying my past with me.

Wedding of a loved one is an example of the comforting ancient rituals driving our innate desires. They love the Christmas memories, the excitement of Valentine’s Day, Republic Day parades, Ganesh and Diwali prayers and feasts.  We learn to savour the past experiences.

2. Past Negative – Where you focus on the negatives of what happened

Then you have people for whom the negative events of the past drive their decisions. I meet people who cannot stop thinking about the bad things in their life. They keep ruminating over experiences. It could range from the memories of a horrible boss or a scheming business partner. They recollect the rejections far too easily.

Some people are stuck in the mistakes they made when they were young and foolish. People who get into a risky start-up might keep asking themselves if they took the right decision. They often think about what went wrong.  For example, they could have bet on a wrong stock pick in 1997, and since then have decided to only invest in Fixed Deposits. Some people will carry images of Public Sector banks and never keep a fixed deposit with them, even if they offer more competitive interest rates. They will never open up to new experiences. Some people will never fly the national carrier and prefer a poorly performing private airline. When you meet older flyers, they’ll you how flying was such a nicer experience in the older days.

They constantly compare their current experience to a “nicer” past.

How the idlis were softer in Chennai, the bhaturas in Mumbai can never match up to the Delhi ones, and the kathi rolls in Bangalore are a sad replication of the Nizam’s. They ignore the effort someone is making to create a change. It’s the past experiences driving the present decision-making systems and experiences into the negative space.

Some past negative is also good. An alcoholic parent or spouse may get you to shun alcohol. If the negative event gives you a profound sense of need and purpose it is great.

Then you have the category of the PRESENT

3. PRESENT HEDONISTIC – Where focus is on the now

These are the folks who live for today. They live in the present moment. They find joy in what they are doing and experiencing. They love creativity and the process of creating something new. They need instant feedback on how well they are doing. They want to get better at what they are doing immediately. Their success on Fruit Ninja, Tetris, Candy Crush and the number of Facebook likes gives them a rush of adrenaline.

When it gets down to getting a task done through attention to details, they can get it done with ease.  Once they get hooked, it is tough to remove them from their addiction.

Get them hooked to a gym, and they will be addicted to the machines. They will be out there measuring the calories burnt and kilometres covered. They will measure their steps on Fitbit. They might not have ability or motivation to spend hours on an exam or to solve an intricate problem.

While they seek pleasure, it is difficult to get them to think about the future. Therefore, a vacation will always trump purchasing health insurance or an annual health check-up. Try and get them to not to go to the gym and, instead, sit down with an investment advisory to talk about boring future-oriented financial products, they will zone out.

They are willing to take risks. They want to try something new. Novelty drives them. They will find ways around the problem. They might scream at people to ‘get the job done’.

Like the past-oriented people who follow instructions and social norms, the Present Hedonistic people might be a bit more unconventional and aggressive. They derive energy from social settings.

Short-term gains matter more than long-term goals. The key is to get them hooked.

4. PRESENT FATALISTIC – Que Sera, Sera

They believe that their luck, fate and destiny matters more than their own goals, plans, effort and growth. Their achievements are influenced by luck, stars and unforeseen forces. Their plans don’t seem to matter because nothing turns out as per their vision and plan.

Since the outcomes cannot be controlled, they would rather spend what they have today than worry about tomorrow.

Some are stuck in the mindset of their circumstances. Everyone and everything else is to be blamed for their failure. They blame the lack of opportunity, a godfather,  a mentor. They would rather bank on luck than effort. Even when they have worked hard to achieve something, they attribute both failure and success to a stroke of luck.

For them, future safety is hardly a concern. The thrill of the now is what matters.

5. Future-Oriented Person: Make hay while the sun shines.

These are the folks that give up their today to make a tomorrow. They are people who build their lives and careers on aspirations. Academics or careers, they are mighty task and result-oriented. They can envision a goal, and then formulate plans and deploy resources. They will keep plugging away relentlessly towards their goals. They can never be distracted from their focused goals. The to-do list is their ally. Their days and weeks are properly planned. They make sensible decisions as far as their health is concerned. They deliver on time and are generally reliable.

On the flip side, they don’t have time for friends and family. They don’t have time for the little pleasures of life. Their relationships could suffer from neglect. Spontaneity is not really their forte. It is easy for them to slip into anxiety, workaholism, sleep disorders and maybe burnout. When buying a car, they will weigh their options. Nothing flashy for them. They will invest in time-saving devices. They will be the first to buy the best automation or productivity tools. They will make sensible financial investments.

6. Future Transcendental

For them, life begins after death. They believe in miracles. They believe in the concept of souls and karma.

Therefore, a balance of all three perspectives is needed.

The PAST is important. The successes of our past give us identity and belief in our capabilities. Our values and culture come from the past. Therefore, we must use our PAST POSITIVE to build our goals. On the other end, do not let your PAST NEGATIVE experiences drive your beliefs and mindsets. They can only constrict you.

The FUTURE gives you a certain sense of efficacy in your own self. You derive your goals, aspirations and inspiration from future. Therefore, you must be moderately high on the FUTURE. Use it to give you direction, but do not let it stop you from enjoying the present.

The PRESENT is where you get the energy to drive towards your goals. Celebrate those little successes. Build relationships with people, not only for your careers but to have an impact on your own eco-system. Being in the present gives you an opportunity to be more curious and creative at work. When you are unshackled from the beliefs of the past and the pressure of the future, your brain expands to take in more of the resources available. A moderate score on PRESENT HEDONISTIC is recommended. This is to prevent you from being too pleasure-oriented and to make way for goals in the future. Obviously, PRESENT FATALISTIC needs to be avoided.

Now I want to talk about some interesting discussion on start-ups or maybe your own work in a large corporate house.

When discussions of start-ups or legacy companies come about, some of the discussions are past-oriented. Their discussions are about, WHAT WAS?

Some look at the start-ups and compare it to the previous bubbles and busts. They are past fatalistic. Can we turn the discussion into a past positive? Can we instead find out those few companies who succeeded? What can we learn from them? Even when they failed, can we learn from their failures so that we do not repeat the mistakes?

A lot of the start-up discussions are present-oriented. Their discussions are about, WHAT IS NOW?

Some people look at start-ups as an opportunity to make a quick buck. They talk of  valuations and funding. They talk of glitzy lifestyles. Can we move the discussion from the PRESENT to the FUTURE?

Very few discussions are future-oriented. Discussions, which move beyond just numbers, but into purpose and pathways.

Yes, numbers are being thrown about. But, instead, can we move towards determining the dreams and aspirations? Instead of just numbers, can we determine pathways?

Some people look at startups, as an impossible future that someone wants to create.

What is the purpose of the business? Is the business of Myntra to bring the latest fashion to the smallest town on India? Is the business of Amazon to link the best of the global suppliers to Indian consumers? Is the business of Delhivery to connect 99% of India’s GDP in 24 hours? Greenlight is an interesting company in the solar lighting space. Is their purpose to provide a clean and safe light source to increase the prosperity in the darkest parts of India? I work with a company called Litmus, which provides cutting edge feedback and research tools, their driving purpose is to give people instantly actionable feedback.

Then you have the Hyperloop, the Teslas and the Google (X) of the world. Their discussions are about WHAT WILL BE? They are exploring the frontiers of new possibilities. Is the business solving a huge problem? Do the people who join these companies work to make a difference in the world or to their bank accounts?

The discussion of start-ups needs to transition the three time-zones seamlessly, between, the PAST POSITIVE, the PRESENT HEDONISTIC and the FUTURE POSITIVE. Investments and resources decisions into these companies need to take into account all the three timeframes.

According to me, this can become a very interesting role for the Board of Directors. They can provide expertise to the young 20-somethings entering the brave world of start-ups.

Personally, I have tried to be a start-up for the last 25 years, stubbornly refusing to grow up. The white of my beard is a bold testament to my failures and hides a few scars. I am now beginning to acknowledge my own failures, laugh at them and build on them. I am beginning to slow down my own present, to build relationships with friends. Giving time to people who need just someone to talk to. A quick coffee with someone. A nice lunch and a deep conversation with a college friend. There is only one rule. No Phones.
 

The author is the Founder of The Positivity Company.This week he is going to bring some mojo from his present into his future. Birender can be reached on birender.ahluwalia@gmail.com.