Lifestyle
As far as SEX goes...
Updated : Nov 16, 2018, 06:10 AM IST
Hollywood actress JoAnna Garcia Swisher recently revealed that she and husband, baseball player Nick Swisher, keep the romance in their marriage alive by having sex every time she goes for a shower. “I’m like, ‘I’m going to the shower.’ And I sneak away. Once I announce, Nick is suddenly in my bathroom,” said JoAnna. Now some may wonder, if that’s healthy. Isn’t that too much sex? In which case, how much is too much? After Hrs spoke to experts to find out the answer...
There’s no excess of sexual activity. Indulging in it depends on one’s situation, mood and partner, believes Dr Prakash Kothari, founder professor of sexual medicine at GS Medical College and KEM Hospital. He says, “If both the partners are comfortable with it, then there’s no issue. The western world terms sex as intercourse. However, in Sanskrit, there’s the concept of Sambhog (sam meaning equality and bhog meaning sex). Sexual activity should be based on equality and mutuality. Also, it’s the quality that matters more than the quantity. Sexual pleasure is about happiness and not about how much or how often.”
The act depends on an individual’s personality, priority and attitude. A couple can make love five times a day or even once a month and still be happy. There’s no measure for excess or insufficient sex. The problem arises when there’s excessive preoccupation with it.
Also, on the other hand, if there’s sexual dissatisfaction in a relationship, then that affects other areas of life, opines sexologist, Dr Dhananjay Gambhire. As for Garcia, he says it’s a good practice especially during menstruation.
There’s no set parameters, limitations, frequency to measure sexual activity, says Dr Deepak K Jumani, sexual health physician, Sir JJ Group of Hospitals and Grant Medical College. He further adds that sex is a normal function just like eating or breathing, which have a regular rhythm and frequency. “However, when it loses its regularity and rhythm, it can lend itself to sexual dysfunction. Also, sexual relations shouldn’t be limited to just young people. In surveys conducted abroad, individuals in their 50s to 70s report to enjoying sex. When both the partners display spontaneity, any number is normal. Sex is good for one’s health, it’s good for cardiovascular, respiratory, orthopaedic health and immunity. The more, the better,” he avers.
Rather than excessive sex among couples, the big problem plaguing couples today is the decrease in physical intimacy. There are multiple reasons for this, says Dr Jumani. He elaborates, “People marry late these days (in their late 30s) because of which sex occurs after a gap of years. Women are more focussed on their career and empowered today. Also, they are vocal about their sexual desires and needs. On the other hand, around 70 to 80 per cent of men post the age of 38 suffer health issues, metabolic syndrome, obesity, blood pressure diabetes, or face lifestyle factors like smoking, alcohol, drug abuse, or interpersonal conflicts, which cause sexual dysfunction, hampering the sex life of the couples, thus widening the gap of sexual activity.” Instead of seeking help and rectifying the problem, they avoid having sex altogether. These problems to a large extent can be solved through counselling. Also, there’s lack of touch (gestures like hugs, holding hands) and not romance at all among most couples today, laments Dr Jumani.
Dr Kothari often comes across couples who are looking to revive their dampened sex life due to lack of communication and partner’s responses, professional, financial stress and responsibilities. “Couples need to talk and communicate, in order to break the monotony, add novelty and reignite the spark in their relationship. Those looking to revive the spark in their sex life may take an unscheduled vacation or book a hotel for a few hours in the city itself and spend time with each other,” he advises.