It’s essentially someone who ghosts you, but continues to check up on you, reading your snapchat posts or checking your instagram posts on the sly. Here’s more on it...
The dating dictionary has a new word to add to its extensive list of relationship buzzwords. Called orbiting, it’s being labelled as a brutal dating trend, worse than ghosting. Orbiting essentially follows after someone ghosts you, but rather than stay away from you, this individual chooses to continue to check up on you via your Instagram posts or Snapchat stories, and this can be frustrating for someone who is trying to start over. If you are wondering what motivates an orbiter to continue with this cruel form of dating, the answer is it’s a power play. It’s about retaining a hold on you, without really putting too much effort into meeting you or being a part of your life. For them you are just an option, that they would rather keep on the back burner, so instead of cutting ties once and for all, they choose to orbit you, and follow you via social media, so that they can reach out to you later in life. This is as brutal and as frustrating as it sounds, but there is something you can do about it.
Block and ignore
No matter what kind of bond you shared with this person, relationship experts advise you to cut off ties once ghosted as it shows that the person does not really care enough about you. And rather than going on the offensive, one should either block or ignore such a person. Dr Hemant Mittal, thought guidance consultant and psychiatrist, advises against taking a confrontational route. He says, “It’s important to simply ignore the orbiter.” He adds, “One should remember that most of them are harmless, and if they wanted to be actively in touch with you, they would. Secondly, if you have had strong feelings for the orbiter, then it’s essential that you block them. At least for a year, else it will become difficult for you to move on. It’s better to keep a distance from them, and blocking them is a better option than confronting them as it will only emotionally drain you.”
Don’t dwell on the past
Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany advises people to simply ignore orbiters as if you allow them to draw you into the past, you will never find the strength to move on. Getting caught in a loop is never a good option. She adds, “Orbiting commonly happens by people who are extremely shy in expressing their emotions. These people are flaky in their relationships, and usually you see them orbiting their ex or people they have dated before. They are curious to know about what they missed out on in the past and some of them even regret the break-ups they had. Some are even lonely, which propels them further to orbit their past. If you are uncomfortable being followed on social media on the sly, you can voice this through a gentle email or a text or simply ignore them.”
The key to surviving this brutal dating trend is to rein in your emotions, and to be aware of the end goal which is your happiness. Don’t settle to play the sidekick in your dating life when you can be the leading man or leading lady. If things did not work out in the past because someone chose to ghost you rather than let you know that there is no future, it’s best to let that person remain a part of your past than allow them to wreck emotional havoc in your present.
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