Pros and cons of marrying your BFF

There has been much debate in pop culture about marrying one’s best friend — while some shy away from it, afraid to lose their best mate, others have taken the plunge forming a bond based on mutual respect, friendship and trust. The most recent couple to go down this lane is actress Neha Dhupia and actor Angad Bedi. The duo took B-Town by surprise recently with their lowkey marriage, but made it a point to share the news with the world via social media. While Neha took to Twitter to share, “Best decision of my life.. today, I married my best friend. Hello there, husband! @angadbedi.” Angad responded with a tweet of his own announcing his changed relationship status with a virtual shoutout. He shared a photo from the ceremony tweeted, ““Best friend.. now Wife!!! Well hello there Mrs BEDI!!! @nehadhupia.” As far as friendship and relationship goals go, this is clearly something most couples aspire for.

Another beloved couple Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds too seem to echo the benefits of loving your best friend. The Hollywood duo is known for trolling and pranking each other rather than going all out with romantic displays of affection. However, when quizzed about their bond, Lively revealed in a recent interview with Entertainment Tonight that she considers Reynolds to be her “best friend,” it was a rare —but welcome — insight into what makes their relationship tick. So, is marrying your best friend a wise move? Experts weigh in.

FAMILIARITY CAN LEAD TO BOREDOM

While most friends avoid a romantic dalliance with a friend as they don’t want to lose their friendship, there are others who are sceptical about the chances of things actually working out if they do decide to take things to the next level. Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany shares, “Marrying your best friend is definitely a good idea as you the know the person inside out, which is an important criteria for marriage. The benefit is the bond and emotional attunement, which is already present, further cemented with marriage. The downside is in some cases, familiarity can breed contempt especially as one knows everything about their partner, so there’s nothing new to discover leading to boredom and frustration especially if one gets into a monotonous routine.”

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Psychiatrist Dr Hemant Mittal on the other hand believes that not all friendships have a strong base to build a marriage on. He says, “Nowdays, when people claim to be best friends forever, one has to take it with a pinch of salt as some of these friendships are short-lived. If a couple has been friends for four years or more, then marriage is at a safer junction. As there is a good understanding and some ups/downs, they have faced together. Taking the relationship to the next level is just a natural progression. If the friendship is less than two to four years, then such a marriage will need a lot of adjusting. There will be certain things that are not known about each other and adjustment would be something both need to work on.”

And he cautions that marrying your best friend may not be the best move. He adds, “You lose someone to confide in, and talk to. Also, because you have been friends, you may unconsciously end up taking him/her for granted on many issues, that post marriage have a different definition. For example, I had a case Sarah and Mitchel (names changed). They were best friends for six years. And one night after drinking, landed up getting intimate. Post that they felt giving a name to their relationship was essential. So they started dating. Since everyone had been expecting this since a few years, marriage bells were sounded early. As soon as they got married, things went south. Expectations were not met on both sides and this only led to things falling apart. Eventually their friendship and marriage also suffered.”

Ultimately, a solid friendship can be the basis of a sound marriage but it does not guarantee a successful marriage. It’s just one of the building blocks, that can help you get there.