Scary-tale ending

High-profile liaisons and fairytale weddings become the talk of the town. But it’s not always a rosy affair. Domestic violence against women occurs across the economic and social strata of society around the world, and not just amongst the poor and common folk as we are deluded into believing. Also, is it easier today for celebrity wives and girlfriends to open up about domestic violence because they will have an outpouring of public sympathy in the media?

Difficult when it’s a high-profile abuser

Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany says, “It’s difficult to open up about domestic violence when the abuser is highly prolific or is well-connected and could make matters worse for the victim. In most cases, the victim opens up after much coaxing from friends and family. Many feel that they will be judged by people, and will be blamed for getting public sympathy if they come out in the open.”
Hingorrany recently counselled a TV star, who was being physically abused by her boyfriend for over three years. She thought that it was her fault and that she deserved being hit, coming from a broken family. After one year of therapy and working on her confidence, now she can stand up for herself and say no to any form of physical and emotional abuse.

Prolific men face it, too

A prolific man, who suffered constant physical abuse, was beaten by his wife on trivial issues, was counselled by Hingorrany. She recounts, “The wife would bite him, hit him and even throw sharp things at him. He would just stand helpless. His wife was probably suffering from a personality disorder and didn’t want to take help. After counselling, he realised that the violence was causing him depression. He stood up to this situation and finally separated.”

IN HOLLYWOOD

Amber Heard

Amber Heard is suing husband Johnny Depp, claiming domestic abuse on numerous occasions. The saga keeps getting uglier as newer revelations keep making headlines. Last month, Heard appeared in court with multiple bruises on her face alleging Depp physically assaulted her. Apparently, the actor shattered many objects in their apartment and struck her face with his iPhone. Depp’s security guards says the claims are false. She also claims that the 52-year-old actor offered her money to keep quiet. The judge then issued a restraining order against Johnny to stay away from her.

In 2009, however, Amber  was arrested for inflicting domestic violence on her former partner Tasya van Ree in 2009. The couple was arguing at an airport when the actress grabbed and struck Tasya in the arm. As a result,

Heard was arrested and booked for misdemeanour domestic violence. Tysa now says Amber was wrongfully accused.

Madonna

Madonna’s marriage to Sean Penn lasted four years (1985-1989). There were many allegations and reports of the diva facing domestic abuse by Penn including home invasion, beating and torture. It is rumoured that he even tied her up to a chair and hit her with a baseball bat. But Madge has maintained silence over it for years. Penn, who has been charged with the alleged assaults on Madonna is known for his violent tendencies in the past with a series of assaults on a movie extra, paparazzi and a friend of Madonna’s, too. In 2015, the pop queen denied allegations that her former husband beat her up.

Halle Berry

In 1996, Berry spoke about being hit by her then-boyfriend so hard that her eardrum was punctured. “I never had to run to a shelter, but I did choose the wrong partners. Not always good men. Luckily, in recent years, I have been smart enough to hit the door when violence even becomes a possibility. That is something I will not tolerate,” she revealed in an interview in 2009.

Pamela Anderson

Rocker Tommy Lee was arrested and sent to jail for four months  for attacking Pamela Anderson in 1998, amidst the debacle of their three-year-old marriage. The Baywatch star has not only spoken about the numerous occasions of domestic violence perpetuated on her but also subjecting their two sons to physical and mental abuse. The actress also accused the rocker of giving her Hepatitis C. Both parents were embroiled in an ugly custody battle over their kids. In 2002, they reached an agreement to share custody of the kids.

Rihanna

In 2009, after getting into an argument, reigning popstar Rihanna was assaulted by her then-boyfriend Chris Brown in his car, hours before they were to perform at the Grammy Awards. Subsequently, both of them did a no-show at the awards. This incident sent shockwaves globally. The rapper was later sentenced to five years of probation and a restraining order, a year of domestic violence counselling and six months of community service too. But the real shocker is perhaps when RiRi got back with Chris after his probation. She thought she could change him. “I was very protective of him. I felt that people didn’t understand him. Even after… But you know, you realise after a while that in that situation you’re the enemy,” she was quoted as saying in an interview with Vanity Fair. The pair broke up in 2013.

Tina Turner

Her real name is Anna Mae Bullock and changed to Tina Turner on her husband Ike Turner’s insistence. Ike was a successful blues singer when he met Tina who was a teen singer looking for a break. The duo married in 1962 and finally got divorced in 1978, during which time, Tina suffered domestic violence at the hands of Ike. Tina tried to commit suicide in 1968. In 1976, on their way to a tour in Dallas, Ike bruised Tina’s face, which she tried to cover by wearing sunglasses while emerging out of the limousine. Tina later made a comeback with a successful solo singing career in the 80s.

Mariah Carey

The songstress married her husband and former manager Tommy Mottola in 1993 and divorced him five years later. But she spoke about the domestic violence and mental abuse in 2009 to Larry King, saying, “Abuse has several categories — emotionally, mentally, in other ways. For me to really get out of it was difficult because there was a connection that was not only a marriage but a business where the person was in control of my life.”

Kate Moss

The supermodel had a turbulent relationship with musician Pete Doherty, which lasted about two years (2005-2007). Pete was known to be a heavy drug user, which resulted in violent behaviour. Doherty took Moss for granted thinking he would go to rehab and then marry her. But they broke up shortly before their marriage plans could take off. When they split, Moss showed her violent side by destroying a lot of his belongings, including his beloved soft toy.

Nigella Lawson

In 2013, photographs of Nigella being grabbed by the neck by her husband Charles Saatchi outside a restaurant in London surfaced in the media. The restaurant chef said in court that Saatchi had told everyone he was taking cocaine out of Nigella’s nose after he was pictured holding her neck. The kitchen goddess divorced him soon after. Later, she revealed being subjected to “intimate terrorism” and admitted taking drugs to make “an intolerable situation tolerable”. Of Saatchi, she said, “brilliant” but “brutal” and added, “Emotional abuse doesn’t have scars but it is still very wounding.”

HERE, TOO

Dimpy Mahajan

Dimpy Ganguly, who married Rahul Mahajan via the reality show Rahul Dulhaniya Le Jayenge in 2010, filed a case against him for beating her up soon after their marriage. Rahul has been accused of domestic violence during his first marriage to Shweta Singh, too.

Pratyusha Banerjee

TV actress Pratyusha Banerjee, who passed away in April this year, was allegedly a victim of domestic abuse by her boyfriend Rahul Raj Singh. It is believed she faced physical assaults as well as mental trauma.

Yukta Mookhey

Former beauty queen Yukta Mookhey married Prince Tuli, a New York-based businessman in 2008. In 2013, Yukta Mookhey lodged a complaint against him for domestic violence and unnatural sex. They divorced in 2014.

Zeenat Aman

This former actress and sex symbol’s alleged first husband), the much-married Sanjay Khan left her with a permanent scar, a little before their relationship ended. It is believed that even Mazhar Khan, with who she had two sons, also physically abused her.

Rati Agnihotri

Rati Agnihotri ended her 30-year marriage to husband Anil Virwani in 2015, citing years of domestic violence and mental torture in 2015. Apparently, the domestic abuse began early in their marriage and kept growing with the passage of time.

Shweta Tiwari

Married in 1998, the TV actress filed for divorce in 2012, citing harassment and violent behaviour while under the influence. Chaudhary was later arrested for beating up actress girlfriend Shraddha Sharma.