Is your kid being cyber-bullied?

Meghna Singhania's parents recently noticed that their 11-year-old daughter had become quiet and withdrawn to such an extent that the Std VII student refused to get out of her house. On probing she revealed that she had received some emails from someone who had threatened to molest her.

Largely considered a western phenomenon till recently, cyber-bullying is making its dubious mark in India. And though more and more students are turning to the internet to defame and play pranks on their peers or teachers, very few parents and educationists are aware of the menacing effects of cyber-bullying.

Recently, a prominent IB school in Mumbai made all its students in Std VII, IX and X close down their Facebook accounts. The reason: some children were posting abusive notes to each other while others were filing their friends' secrets online.

A DNA investigation into the online lives of school children found that a large number of them were increasingly finding themselves cornered online.

While traditional bullying, at least officially, can be tackled in time if a student or his parents discuss the problem with the teachers, cyber-bullying, by its very nature, tends to make a victim not talk about the problem. This, according to experts, happens because the child fears loss of internet time and freedom.

Dr Avinash D'Souza, a child psychiatrist, said that every week three to four victims of cyber-bullying visit him at his Santa Cruz clinic.

However, a more significant and terrifying reason, according to a study conducted by K Jaishanker in 10 A-list schools in Chennai, is that unlike the real world, a victim in the cyber world often has the opportunity and the desired motivation to do unto others what is being meted out to him. In other words, the victim bullies others to feel a tad better about himself/herself.

Nearly 84% of students interviewed reported being cyber-bullied. Due for publication in the International Journal of Cyber Criminology, the study is by far the only scientific take in India on cyber-bullying among school children.

At once shocking and revealing, the findings of the study repudiate the claims and denials often issued by school authorities when probed about cyber-bullying.

For instance, Aparajita Rana, principal, Green Lawns School, Worli, claimed there were no instances of cyber-bullying in her school. "We have a programme for students from Std VIII to Std X. They are taken to the cyber cell of the Mumbai police where they are given an orientation on the cyber laws."

Almost all teachers and principals DNA spoke to denied having ever confronted an instance of cyber-bullying in the school.

Rohas Nagpal, founder and president of the Asian School of Cyber Laws in Pune, said that in such cases parents have to protect their child.  "We offer a free online course in cyber law. Since it started a year ago, we have had more than 6,000 participants. A large number of these are parents of school children," he said.

Agreed Uma Nair, a columnist who has been teaching English at Don Bosco School, Delhi, for two decades. She said that in most cases parents don't know what happens on the social sites. "Very few parents are members of these networking sites. Ideally, they must first ask their children if they could be also be members of their social networks. Once they get in, they should watch quietly.
Generally, a few lines from a firm parent are enough to stop the online vendetta."

"Sometimes children don't want parents to do so. In such cases it is important to get the story out from the child and encourage him to report the matter to the administrators of the social network," she added.

Gitanjali Chugh, a psychologist at the psychiatric department of AIIMS, Delhi, said she often came across children with internet addiction related problems. "The children suddenly shy away from going out  and neglect studies. While cyber-bullying may not be the main problem for their maladjustment, it definitely plays a role."