When couples break up, emotions go haywire and people turn irrational. While many sulk, there is a section who vent their frustration in the open.
“Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we’re incompatible. I am a Virgo and he’s an a**h***”
Getting divorced can be a traumatic experience, more so for the spouse who is left in the lurch. While many sulk, simmering quietly, there is a section of people who decide to vent out their frustration in the open.
Call it temporary loss of sanity or plain old revenge, but down the years we have been witness to many celebrity couple spats post separation —the latest being the Natasha Sippy-Raveena Tandon catfight over Anil Thadani.
Years ago Anju Mahendroo called Rajesh Khanna, the then superstar, a ‘rat’ when he ditched her for 15-year-old Dimple Kapadia. More recently Aditi Bhatt lashed out in print at husband, filmmaker Vikram Bhatt, when he hooked up with Sushmita Sen.
Reconciling with separation has never been easy, though the circumstances are different in each case.
Boney-Mona: When Mona was dumped by filmmaker Boney Kapoor for actor Sridevi, she went to town talking ill of Boney, while her mother Sattee Shourie went a step forward and kicked Sridevi at a party.
Now Mona says all that was in the heat of the moment. “The most trying period in my life was around eight years ago when I separated from my husband. I respect myself way too much to allow anybody to step over my emotions. For my sanity and that of the children, I opted out of the relationship."
"Had I not, the pain would have affected my entire being and manifested itself in negativity and health problems. It was a harrowing situation. I needed time to lick my wounds, to air them and let the feelings ebb. But now, I have moved on in life.”
Kamal-Vani: The ever graceful dance exponent Vani Ganpathy also lost her cool in public when she realised that her husband, actor Kamal Haasan, decided to move on to another woman, Sarika. Vani had then said, “He wooed me and wanted me somehow. I sacrificed my dance career and so much more for this man. I guess he didn’t deserve it after all.”
Saif-Amrita: After his separation from Amrita Singh, Saif Ali Khan had said in his defence, “I had to separate from Amrita because staying together was becoming suffocating and hurtful. It isn’t nice to be constantly reminded of how worthless you are and have taunts and insults thrown at your mother and sister.” However, soon after Saif said he regretted saying such things in print.
Coming to terms is never easy: Aamir Khan recently spoke about his separation from Reena, explaining that it had been a very difficult choice for him.
“I never wanted to break up our marriage, but kya karen, halaat kuch saath nahin de rahe the. Lag bhag ek saal tak mein tanha aur akela tha. I was terribly depressed.”
While Reena never spoke a word to the press, most ex-wives are unable to control their emotions.
“Bitterness could be one of the reasons for the jilted spouse to go around bad mouthing the person. People get into depression and think talking badly about the former mate is the only way to get the frustration out of their system,” says clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor Seema Hingorrany.
Most women feel cheated especially when they’ve made so many sacrifices for the man. “In most cases, it’s unfair because nobody had asked them to do so in the first place. But blame games are very common amongst warring couples because each want to prove to the world that they are not at fault,” adds Hingorrany.
s_shubha@dnaindia.net
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