Why stand up, when you can squat

Squatters are making the city more dangerous by putting their lives at risk

If a lamppost falls on an illegal squatter, is it still manslaughter? That's one question (in its myriad forms) that Mumbaikars have been asking themselves for the last few years. As our pavements buckle and crumble under the tax-dodging masses, citizens are being sent out into the street…literally.

The incident last night, in Worli, where a car hit a tempo, that hit a lamppost, which then toppled onto sleeping squatters, has only exacerbated a situation that is bizarre at best. In the 21st century everyone knows that shit happens. Accidents occur and people get hurt, and at times, die. Yet, in the aftermath of the incident, all people could talk about - mind you a high proportion of the talkers are non-Mumbaikars - was the rashness exhibited by the driver - who, I must hasten to add, was not driving under the influence.

Could it have been a flat tyre that caused the car to go on its wild journey? Could be. Could it have been a momentary lapse in concentration on the part of the driver? It happens to the best of us. Could the injuries have been prevented? Definitely, the squatters should have been moved.

Zen Buddhists love to ask cryptic, if ultimately insightful questions about tress falling in woods and other such timber-related teasers, but their point is clear. If you weren't there to experience it, the experience ceases to exist.
The squatters should not have been there, but nevertheless they were…illegally. If I decided to put up my tent in the middle of the Mumbai-Pune Expressway and a car ran into it, is it the fault of the driver? I think not.

It's high time Mumbai's human rights activists got their thumbs out and started coming up with solutions for the mortal morass that is accumulating on our streets. Preaching peace and goodwill to all is a load of mind-numbing drivel, if the city's taxpayers have to support a bunch of drug-addled layabouts. Now a grotesque generalisation that may be, but if they're allowed to build a shantytown on my streets, then I'm allowed my soapbox rant. I, after all, possess a PAN Card. Do they?

All proponents of relocating these squatters at the taxpayers' expense should be forced to keep them in their own homes, until such time as we have decided where they should stay. You could move them to Borivili National Park, but the Leopards will have none of it. You could also move them to Malabar Hill, Nariman Point, or even the newly-beautified Juhu Beach…I'm sure those resident would be more than happy to provide succour for this motley bunch of individuals.

Either way, the driver in the unfortunate incident will be vilified. Rash driving will once again occupy the minute space between our ears, and a few more licences will be suspended. After all why should we bother about the problems that lie under our feet, when we've got far bigger things to worry about…like vada pav unions and the job-stealing North Indians, and petty agendas from politicians who make George W Bush look like the president of Mensa.

w_dean@dnaindia.net