Uneasy lie the millions

There’s nothing that makes me more uncomfortable than money. I am never sure what to do with it (if I do come in possession of any).

Should I spend it and be called careless or save it and give Shylock a run for his money? What’s a dignified tip? Is it ok not to tip if not satisfied with the service? Should I splurge on that Nike shoe or is that functional but ghastly looking Bata shoe just as fine? So goes on the to-do or not-to-do list… And there is nothing more disconcerting than hearing about other people making their millions.

The transfer season is the hardest to bear and the uneasiness knows no bounds. I crib, criticise, sulk as clubs throw millions of dollars to entice footballers hither and thither. This year has been really bad. The Kaka deal, if it had gone through, would have driven me nuts. I cannot manage a few hundreds and this guy would have been able to buy off a country if he wanted to.

The transfer window didn’t close soon enough for me but even before I could say ‘phew!’, followed the Indian Premier League (IPL) auction. Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff took home $1.55 million each for what might just be a few swings of the bat and a rolling over of the arm.

A 34-year-old South African bloke called Tyron ‘never heard of him’ Henderson got $650,000. Is there an auction in darts? I am really good at it…But it wasn’t all bad last week. Trust David Beckham to bring back my sanity. He wants to stay at AC Milan… Giving up the millions promised to him by Los Angeles Galaxy. He wants to stay at Milan for football.

To have a chance to play in the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. If he had stayed at Galaxy, England coach Fabio Capello would have never had the chance to have a look at him, and no matter how curly and pinpoint his free-kicks, Becks wouldn’t have made the squad.

Of course, he bid a tearful and ‘final’ adieu at the last World Cup in Germany, but don’t ever believe a footballer when he says, “this is my last World Cup”. Chances are you’ll see him around four years later.

But I am ok with that kind of ‘talk’. As long as the motive is not money, I am fine.
Also, last week, Mr Cristiano Ronaldo turned 24. There’s no denying that he is a wonderful talent but I wonder why he is one of the most hated footballers in the world.
Maybe it’s the flashiness, both on and off the field. But I can live with cute tricks and the vain step-overs. It’s the dollar-sign halo around his head that puts me off.

To mark his 24th birthday, Ronaldo is planning to gift himself a hotel complex in Madeira, Portugal. He already owns four ‘spectacular’ homes around Europe. I’d be fine with a cottage in the Swiss Alps.