Parents must teach kids to use the Internet responsibly

My 15-year-old daughter seems to be talking to strangers on Instagram. Recently, she asked one of her online male friends to come home in our absence but we caught her. What do you suggest we do?

As parents, this sounds like a scary and shocking experience for you. In these online times, spaces such as Instagram and Snapchat have become real and sometimes teenagers don’t have a map to navigate this territory. 

Teaching them to use the online platform responsibly has become a parenting responsibility. It would be a good idea to introduce your daughter to Internet etiquette, and the hazards involved in talking with strangers online.
Platforms such as Instagram and Snapchat open a new world for them which bring with them too much attention, something a teenager may find difficult to deal with. 

Have a conversation about using cyberspace responsibly, introduce her to the idea of dangers, without scaring her, that lurk when it comes to meeting strangers. 

Cyber-bullying is a growing concern, and unhealthy relationships often arise due to a teenager’s lack of awareness.

Please see a psychologist if you find yourself struggling with the issue. They can help your daughter set appropriate boundaries and help her understand how the virtual world works. A psychologist will help you remain firm, yet tackle the issue without being aggressive.

As a parent, I sometimes feel I am being too demanding of my twin teenagers. I seem to be losing my patience and giving in to my perfectionist tendencies quite often with them. With time they have started answering back. How should I handle the situation?

I’m glad to see that you have insight into your emotional state. Awareness is the first step when it comes to managing one’s emotions. Your children are at a stage in life when they are developing their own voice. Sometimes when parents come across as pushy to them, it can lead to arguments.

I suggest you become more cognizant of the possible triggers and your own feelings. This will in turn help in toning down your responses. 

If you find it difficult to work on your own, meet a psychologist who can help you find a middle ground with your children, set realistic expectations and help you develop patience. Recognise this feeling and work on it but don’t beat yourself over it.