Crimes of passion: Are you a victim?

In the last few months, there has been an alarming surge in the number of crimes of passion committed in Bangalore. Man kills wife. Wife murders man. Lover throws acid on girl. Boy poisons himself over girl he never met, and so on. HM Chaitanya Swamy &  Malavika  Velayanikal delve into the whys of it

What is a crime of passion?
Crimes can be put under three categories: bloody crime, bloodless crime and crime of passion, explains joint commissioner of police (crime) B Dayanand.

Bloody crime is when someone is attacked or murdered for gain, rivalry, road rage, property disputes and such other reasons. Murder or attack committed over fraud, misappropriation, forgery, cheating etc fall under bloodless crime. When the perpetrator commits a crime – assault, murder or rape – against someone because of sudden strong impulse like rage or heartbreak rather than as a premeditated crime, it becomes a crime of passion.

“All murders and attacks over love, illicit or extra-marital affair fall under this category,” says joint commissioner of police (crime) B Dayanand.

Modern woes
Bangalore is undergoing a rapid transformation. Modernisation, western values, aspirational living, burgeoning migrant population … almost suddenly, the city is seeing all of it. A strong sense of alienation seems to have arrived with it, and the people, especially the younger population is ill equipped to handle the new realities.

Men and women are constantly looking for ways to beat their loneliness and assuage their desire for companionship. They place a very high premium on the few they connect with, and become overly emotionally tied-up with them. Any hint of being let down by them leads to uncontrolled passion.

“Migrating to a city can be a nauseating experience. When family is away, there is nobody to give adequate emotional support or right advice to these youngsters. Weekends can be very lonely. And there is also a peer pressure to have a lover,” says Dr

Gayathridevi, senior sociologist with ISEC (Institute for Social and Economic Change). She also feels boys aren’t yet ready for smarter girls. They are still looking for a sati-savitri. "But girls, now, do not hesitate to dump a boy they don’t approve of. Education and more job opportunities have empowered girls enough to exercise choice, and they will call spade a spade.”

“Now, women have entered the work force in a big way. They have many more avenues to meet and interact with men. They become friends and maybe lovers. And when disagreements and disputes crop up between them, many times they harm each other or self,” Dayanand says.

He also blames social networking which brings strangers close. ‘
“Just chatting over social networks, men or women get emotionally attached,” he says. “A lack of ability to digest facts, control emotions, tolerate pressure are reasons behind crimes of passion,” he adds.

‘Crime of insecurity’
Dr Shyamala Vatsa, senior psychiatrist, explains: "Boy and girl meet at College, or at work. They form a relationship over time. After a few months, or a couple of years, one of them wants to move out of the relationship. The other feels rejected and is furious about it. The fury finds expression either as violence directed inwards – suicide, or violence against the partner – homicide.

“This is a crime of passion, ‘passion’ in a negative sense. Not passion as in love. If a boy says he will kill himself because he loves her so much that he cannot live without her, is that love at all? It seems like the boy is extremely insecure about his value as a person; as long as his girlfriend values him, he is someone, otherwise he is a loser. So, a crime of ‘passion’ is more likely a crime of ‘insecurity’, and a large amount of it,” she says.

What can be done about it?
A strong support system of friends and family is an answer. In the absence of it, counselling can help. But those going through heartbreak or rage or other extreme emotions rarely reach out.
Four emotions affect man-woman relationships: affection, ownership, faith and ego, says Dr RS Deshpande, director, ISEC.

“Affection can turn into a sense of ownership. Ownership intersperses with faith. And when a person feels let down, he feels cheated. His or her hurt ego spurs them towards crime. Only if these emotions can be controlled, will crimes of passion reduce,” he says.

“It really boils down to how we raise our kids. If we raise them to respect themselves, they may be secure and confident in dealing with such situations, without feeling rejected,” says Dr Vatsa.

The Bottomline

• Don’t trust anyone blindly
• Don’t be too possessive; or angry
• If you have a problem, talk to a friend