I was a lost child who didn’t have clear dreams: Sidharth Malhotra

We know that Sidharth Malhotra, a middle class Delhi boy always wanted to be an actor.  He assisted Karan Johar on My Name Is Khan. But not much is known about his life before he became a star.  In a conversation with After Hrs, the actor talks about his journey that led him to being the star that he is today. Read on....

Was acting a childhood dream?

No! Dad was working in the Merchant Navy and we have always been a service class family. So that ‘I can be an actor’ never occured to me. I never believed that I could do that. I used to feel kya faayda kar ke. But there was a subtle spark when I saw Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge. My brother and my mum saw me doing the SRK pose, dancing to Tujhe dekha toh. They would make fun of me saying, ‘Tujhe hero banna hai kya?’ My family used to feel ki masti kar raha hai and there’s no seriousness to me being an actor or model. Because of that environment, I never truly believed in becoming an actor too.

So you were never interested in drama in school?

No, because I didn’t believe that I could perform well. Even in school, I was more into sports. I think everything happened by accident, so when I look back now, I know that I was copying that DDLJ song for a reason!

How were you as a student?

Extremely bad! (Laughs) I was terrible in studies. I was good till class eighth and ninth. As soon as I made girlfriends, I became bad! (Laughs) I started dating and I got totally distracted. Also, maybe I think, I wasn’t ready to get educated back then. If somebody taught me something right now, I’d learn it. I was a bit distracted as a child.

Kids want to become different things every year. Do you also have such memories?

I was a lost child, who didn’t have clear dreams. It  all started when I turned 17-18. After that I went to Rishikesh and I changed. I enjoyed the river rafting there and I thought I would become an instructor for adventure sports. But then modelling happened. I saw, ‘Arre waah, ramp pe chalne ko milta hai and you get money. It’s so easy.’ Then, in my 19-20s, I was hit by this sudden realisation when someone liked my audition and I thought, I’d better go to Mumbai and try it. So it was deep down inside. Because I was extremely introverted, I kept everything to myself at that time. It was so far-fetched that I didn’t have the confidence to tell people ki main hero banunga.

How did the modelling stint began?

A friend got five to six of us entry into a club and after two hours, we realised that the party was actually a hunt for new faces for Elite Modelling Agency. Two friends of mine and I were selected along with three girls. We got a free scholarship for the agency and the ball started rolling. I was shy and they liked that about me. There were a series of photoshoots that led to a nice snowballing effect with me coming to Mumbai and trying to be an actor.

Did your family have apprehensions when you started modelling?

My first photoshoot was for a Samsung phone. We finished in five-six hours and they paid me Rs 5,000. Sab kaat-kutake Rs 3,000 mila mujhko, after commission and tax. I gave that to my mom and she felt good. That was all I wanted to do during my college and make money. So they thought it will be that only! They were surprised when the audition worked out and someone gave me a contract of a movie at 21-22 and I came to Mumbai.

Which movie was this?

It was a film with Anubhav Sinha. An action film made with newcomers, which Adlabs was producing at that time. It’s funny because I’m friendly with Adlabs owner Aarti Shetty now. So whenever I see her, I keep telling her that you are the reason I came here.

That film didn’t work out then?

Anubhav Sinha got Ra.One. He left us (Smiles). So then, I walked out of it. I was feeling really low at that point because mujhe laga ki contract dikhaya and ab nahi ho raha.  I knew I had to be serious about everything and I started modelling, making money on the side. I tried renting  a house in Mumbai, which was another painful process.

Why painful?

Because people rejected me on various points. Someone rejected me outright because I wanted to become an actor. Someone didn’t give me a house because I eat non-vegetarian food. Sometime, people refused to budge when it came to rent. I told them I couldn’t afford it and requested them to reduce the rent by Rs 1000 - Rs 2000 but they wouldn’t understand. Life taught me a lot about it.

Did you rent a house by yourself?

No, I did both. For about one-and-half to two years, I stayed with people. In a one-and-half bedroom flat in Juhu. The half bedroom was mine whereas the bigger bedroom had both the other flatmates. We all used to contribute some Rs 10000 to the rent and then there were electricity and food bills. I didn’t have a proper job like the other two, I was the only one to have an AD’s job. I used to wake up first and I remember none of us used to shop for groceries or anything. So predominantly, I would get up and realise eggs nahi hai. I would walk down every second morning, get bread, eggs and then boil them, toast the bread, eat that and keep some for the roommates. It was more like a hostel. We partied and had our share of fun.

Do you remember the pay cheque you got for Student Of The Year?

I had not told my roommates that I was doing a film. So I took them and my other friends out for dinner. I got the first cheque of Rs 1,10,000. So I told them I’m doing a Karan Johar film and they were all excited. After four hours of partying, the bill that came was of Rs 55,000! I spent it all. I didn’t feel bad because I knew that moment will never come back. I will never get to celebrate signing my first film again. Even if that meant spending half my pay cheque, so be it. At least, I had fun and we still remember that night.

Did you feel out of place when you started the film?

I was extremely nervous. My palms were sweaty. I was not too aware, nobody told me that I had to do any kind of homework.  I started fumbling really badly. My co-stars Varun and Alia at least had that comfort because they were aware of how things happen. I’d never seen an actor rehearse. They had seen actors rehearse, prepare and then perform, cheat at times for camera, use glycerine and cry. So definitely the whole process of rehearsing, dance — I completely felt out of place in the beginning.

Are you still the same Delhi guy you were when you started out?

Well, at heart, yes I haven’t changed a bit. I feel and think in the same middle-class way that my Delhi upbringing made me think in all these years. Stardom has never hit me hard that I feel now, I have cemented my position so I can behave, talk and do what I want to. But I stay alone here, so I’m more responsible and aware about things now. I have learnt a lot of new things. As an actor, I am hoping people have seen me grow. I have had a fulfilling experience till now. But there’s a lot more to come.