Karan Johar, who has finally introduced his children to the world, talks about his experiences as a father

Karan Johar has finally introduced his children — Yash and Roohi — to the world via social media. The first-time dad is excited and overwhelmed about this new role that he is playing in real life. Here, he talks about being ready to take on the responsibility of raising two kids and drawing inspiration from his father — the late Yash Johar.

People expect new parents to change overnight after they have kids, what has your experience been like?

From overwhelming to daunting, and in reverse order as well. I am blessed, I am overwhelmed, I am afraid, I do not get paranoid, but I am really afraid because I feel for the first time I have been given a responsibility that is beyond my ability and I have to create that ability. To be able to be an amazing parent, is something that you also learn on the job. So, you have to make your mistakes, learn from them, correct them and move on. Everyone has a piece of advice to give you but your relationship with your children and your nurturing process for them is yours and yours alone.

Have you become the dad, who is showing pictures to everyone?

Yes, but I am so conscious because I laughed at those people who did that, so I do it less. Sometimes you cannot help it. The moment somebody asks you, your instinct is to go to your phone because you are so proud of your children. I remember how my father was about me. I was embarrassed about the manner in which he used to praise me in front of other people. I used to go pink in the face. Once we were in London and somebody introduced me to a British gentleman as a filmmaker and my father piped in and said, ‘He is the best filmmaker in India.’ I said ‘Papa, you cannot say that.’ And he said ‘Kyun? Main manta hu, main kahunga.’ So I realise what that pride of a parent is like and I think that I will be going through an emotional meltdown in all their milestones where they first speak, walk and achieve and every first of theirs.

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Two things I have to tell you about parenting. One of it is exactly what it was designed to be, the most beautiful thing in the world. It may sound like a Hallmark card but it is true. The other is fear, apprehension, and anxiety and that actually makes me sleep a little less. I dream about them in my subconscious mind — will they be good students, will they be clever, will they be bright? I hope they don’t have any bad habits. I know things are going to be fine and yet I have those feelings. I have to achieve a certain state of calm for me to realise that being a parent is not just a responsibility, but also an attitude and I have to have the right attitude.

Do you want to be a dad like your dad?

I wish I can, because he was amazing. I believe that the best father is a grandfather. So that is what my father was to me. He was a father who was also a grandfather. He was much older when he had me and that is what I will be. Because a grandparent has been through the process of being a father and reached a stage of maturity as a parent and he exercises that maturity in his nurturing.

Farah said that you were initially hesitant about surrogacy. What convinced you?

I was hesitant. But it wasn’t surrogacy that I was hesitant about; it was about me being a parent. I felt I wasn’t emotionally ready till I was. When I celebrated my 40th, I was like I really feel now is the time I should... I still wasn’t emotionally there. But there was one year... there was a phase when I was about 42 when I realised that now is the zone I feel I can be a parent. And I have the ability to nurture lives completely; I can take on this responsibility and I started all the work that I had to do.

You see yourself being a helicopter father or you are going to be more relaxed?

I think I will be more relaxed. I am not a paranoid person by nature. In crisis, I become more calm. It is about tiny things that bother me. In larger situations, I am the calmest in crisis. I am not hyper. I feel there is nothing that conversation and communication cannot sort out. Some people just thrive under pressure. My father did and I think I have got that from him. I can tell my mother is a lot more hyper than I am as a person. I draw from my father’s stillness and calmness.

Are you thinking about schools?

Oh, yes, totally. I reach first day of school with them in my head.

I remember there was one time when all your friends would tease you that you wear this black jacket and go every evening. That has changed. Is it because of the kids or has it changed before that? You are more at home now, you call friends over rather than going out every day.

I actually don’t like going out anymore; I think something has happened. There is a certain switch that has been put on and that was lying dormant for a while. I am a lot more at home now. I don’t feel the need to rush out. Finally, at age 45, I feel more responsible I suppose. I feel like you know before that, there was no accountability. There was mom and me. I was like I wanted to get out of my house and go. Go to places and people. Now it is like people come home and the vibe also is like that. The new house we have moved into three years ago just felt like home to me. The residence before that never connected to me emotionally, I was there for 16 years. For some reason, my first home in Malabar Hill and this one...

Do you still have that?

No. That was ghar for me and this one feels like ghar to me. The inherent phase and also because I lost my father in that house, I have a little bit of anger with it.