Women are not the only ones postponing having a family. Men too are increasingly veering towards this decision postponing fatherhood to a later stage in their lives or choosing to become a dad at an older age. The likes of which include celebs like Karan Johar, Tusshar Kapoor, Shah Rukh Khan, Aamir Khan and Saif Ali Khan among others, who have all chosen to be older dads, and a new study conducted at Stanford University dwells into the reasons why so many men don’t mind pushing fatherhood to a later stage in their lives.
What the study revealed?
There is plenty of research over time that has documented the growing ages of mothers however, that was not the case for men until now. Dr Michael Eisenberg, assistant professor of urology at Stanford University, was part of this study, which threw up some interesting findings. From a fertility standpoint, the window in which men can bear children is much larger than for women. The youngest father in the study was 11 and the oldest was 88, and Eisenberg says there is documentation of a man in India who fathered children at 94 and 96. Eisenberg says the reasons men are delaying childbirth are likely the same as they are for women: contraception has become more widespread, there are fewer unplanned pregnancies, and career-minded couples are deciding together to start their families later. However, it comes with its set of pros and cons and can have some serious implications that one has to be prepared for.
What it means for you vs your child
There are many factors that are at play when it comes to the decision to have a kid later in life. Increasingly, the focus on individual freedom, exploring life in general and the relationship one shares with a spouse before taking on the responsibilty of a child have all played a major role in men wanting to delay fatherhood. Psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria says while the pros of such a decision are more personal like wanting to be financially in a better position to provide for a family, the cons are not limited to that. She adds, “Deterioration in the physical health, the sperm quality might lead to fertility issues or even certain developmental defects in the child as seen in mothers, who conceive at a later stage.” However, this has not stopped men from attempting to become a dad much later in life. Psychiatrist Dr Hemant Mittal, adds, “Men who choose to have kids at a later stage generally do so knowing the pros and cons. It’s not a decision taken due to parental/societal or peer pressure but more out of a need to have an offspring of their own that they can care for and bond with.”
WEIGHING THE PROS AND CONS
Pros
- Late fatherhood means there is time and this allows one to get to know each other well. As a result relationships with the spouse/partner is more settled.
- One has more time to enjoy quality time with children.
- Empty nest phenomenon hits quite late.
Cons
- Older men have higher chance of infertility.
- Health issues can put stress on parenting.
- There’s also a huge generation gap that one has to contend with.
