Little does Shah Rukh Khan know that his
Billu Barber almost ended up without a title! It all started just a day before the hairdressers of Mumbai snipped off half the title. Billu Bekaar woke up one morning feeling very offended. “The title is an insult to all those who are Billu but not barbers,” he told his wife. “I’m going to write a letter to Shah Rukh Khan demanding he remove Billu from the title — or face the consequences!” He also revealed his plan of rounding up all his namesakes and forming an association of Billus!
Billu Bekaar’s wife was a wise woman though she didn’t quite understand how this would make their lives anymore worthwhile. So Billu explained: “It’ll force Shah Rukh Khan to apologise and change the title. Can you imagine — Shah Rukh Khan saying sorry to me! I’m sure you’ll be proud of your husband who doesn’t have a penny in his pocket but brought a superstar worth crores to his knees!”
“How will that help?” asked Mrs Billu. “Shah Rukh Khan might change the title and say sorry so that you and the other like-minded Billus don’t throw stones at multiplexes. Then he’ll get on with his life and his job, make more money and become a bigger star. But we’ll still be here with the only thing that grew and got bigger in the process - your ego!”
Billu was annoyed. “Why don’t you ever encourage me?” His wife smiled and said, “I’d encourage you if you focused your time and energy on improving our lives by getting a job and working hard at it — instead of taking sadistic pleasure in a movie star’s apology or attacking those who earn their livelihood at a multiplex!”
While I haven’t seen
Billu Barber, I’m a big fan of its Malayalam original —
Kathaparayumbol. It’s the story of a gentle barber shying away from drawing the attention of an old friend who’s now a movie star. Ironically, in a society hijacked by the Association of Easily Offended Indians, it’s not been that difficult to draw Shah Rukh Khan’s attention in real life!
So here’s looking forward to
Billu Barber 2, where a crafty barber draws the attention of Shah Rukh Khan by filing a frivolous PIL against him and pelting stones at the movie hall in his village — or by simply giving everyone in the village a
Ghajini haircut!
