Chester Bennington suicide: the signs were always there, if only we had listened

Talk about prophetic last words. Or in this case- last songs.

Chester Bennington’s suicide seems sudden but the signs were always there. Linkin Park’s last album One More Light in the context of Chester’s suicidal depression is full of dark references to the troubled state of the singer’s mind.

From 'Crawling' to 'Nobody Can Save Me Now,' Chester Bennington’s voice captured grief, self-loathing and his undeniable alienation from the crowd around him.

The album is full of lyrics which point to the state of Bennington’s inability to come to terms with his own self. Sample this:

But nobody can save me now
I’m holding up a light
Chasing up the darkness inside
'Cause nobody can save me.

Or:

So, say goodbye and hit the road
Pack it up and disappear
You better have some place to go
'Cause you can't come back around here
Good goodbye
(Don't you come back no more)

The loss of a friend

Linkin Park sold more than 30 million copies of Hybrid Theory. But in the end, all the super stardom and affection by millions of adoring fans didn’t even matter.

Chester was found dead at his Southern California's Palos Verdes Estates on Thursday night. The death is being investigated as a possible suicide.

Thursday was Chris Cornell's 53rd birthday. Chris was a close friend of Chester who was deeply troubled by the Soundgarden singer’s suicide. Chester is the godfather of Cornell’s son Christopher. Bennington who sang a tribute at his close friend’s funeral, wrote a heartfelt open letter addressed to Chris.

I dreamt about the Beatles last night. I woke up with Rocky Raccoon playing in my head and a concerned look on my wife's face. She told me my friend had just passed away. Thoughts of you flooded my mind and I wept. I'm still weeping, with sadness, as well as gratitude for having shared some very special moments with you and your beautiful family. You have inspired me in many ways you could never have known. Your talent was pure and unrivalled. your voice was joy and pain, anger and forgiveness, love and heartache all wrapped up into one. I suppose that's what we all are. You helped me understand that. I just watched a video of you singing 'A Day In The Life' by the Beatles and thought of my dream. I'd like to think you were saying goodbye in your own way. I can't imagine a world without you in it. I pray you find peace in the next life. I send my love to your wife and children, friends and family. Thank you for allowing me to be part of your life.

With all my love.
Your friend,
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Chester had been battling depression for some time, yet most have expressed shock at his sudden death. This includes Mike Shinoda, who co-wrote Hybrid Theory with Bennington. Shinoda confirmed Chester's death saying he was 'shocked and heartbroken.'

The signs of depression very often just bubble up under the surface. While on the outside a person might seem as calm and firm as a frozen lake, he is just as watery below the surface.

The journey

Linkin Park formed in 1999. It started with Mike Shinoda, guitarist Brad Delson, drummer Rob Bourdon, DJ Joseph Hahn, bassist Dave Farrell, and singer Mark Wakefield. Chester later replaced Mark and became the lead singer of Linkin Park.

It was a perfect match. Chester had the right amount of edginess in his vocals to take Shinoda and Hahn's version of rap-rock to the next level.

LP, as it is often called, has managed to constantly evolve to stay relevant to the changing tastes and trends in the music industry. It is one of the most iconic rock (rap) bands over the last decade or so.

Unbelievably, through it all, the band has managed to stick together. Something unthinkable in the modern music scene. They have also retained their unique style of techno, rap and rock. The lyrics are mostly dark. About lost love, forgiveness, personal monsters and battles, Linkin Park immediately tapped into the angst of the youth of the day. It is the Nirvana of today.

Just like Kurt Cobain, the iconic lead singer of the grunge rock band who cruelly killed himself at the age of 27, Chester was troubled by allegations of having 'sold out' to the market.

Of having pimped his music to a wider audience by adding more 'pop' to it and toning down the dark lyrics. While he brushed them aside saying they had just grown up, truth is, the allegations hurt Chester.

His music was very personal to him, just like it was to Cobain, and just like him, he didn't get into it to make money.

Personal expression mattered to him the most. He had to sing because that was the only way of expression he knew. The only way to communicate his emotions to those, who he felt, misunderstood him.

Troubled childhood

Chester came from a broken home, suffered physical abuse as a child and was doing drugs and alcohol by the time he was 13.

Chester sobered up by the time he got married but fell upon hard times again around the time of his divorce. Good times left Chester frustrated. His music came out of suffering, addiction spurned his creativity.

Happiness was too much like cotton candy- sweet on the outside but in the end hollow inside.

A lot of Bennington's songs are autobiographical. 'Crawling,' a song that got him a Grammy, came out of personal pain as Chester publicly admitted.

"I don't think I could have written that song watching someone else go through all that. (sic)"

Chester had battled addiction all his life. He admitted to being a raging alcoholic at one point with even Shinoda saying that whenever the band’s lead singer would be in trouble the rest of the guys would support him and help him come out of it.

Broken spirit

In 2015, Linkin Park were supposed to go out on a tour but Chester suffered an injury. He broke his leg and it triggered a fresh bout of depression. Mike termed the fracture as a 'break in spirit,' but Chester managed to channel all his depression and angst through his music and came up with One More Light.

The album was another plea for help. As it turned out, a final plea, which went unheeded.

I hear my battle symphony
All the world in front of me
If my armour breaks
I'll fuse it back together
Battle symphony
Please just don't give up on me
And my eyes are wide awake