Thursday: I am in Noida as I have a little booth at the export fair for my candle company. A working woman's constant companion is guilt. We are always feeling the burden of periodically neglecting either our children or our work. Today is my son's parent-teacher meeting and instead of being at school, I have to be here, listening to nonsense like "My real cousin brother is going to foreign". What is your good name?' And "I myself Mr Lokesh".
Friday: Sitting at my booth, I pull out my phone. After the parent-teacher meeting yesterday, a whole bunch of moms are having a heated discussion on our class WhatsApp group chat. Suddenly, an irate father comes onto the chat, rants a bit and then says, "Some things may be above the control of the moms, so we should make a father's group to tackle it". There is pin-drop silence on the chat. I am sure this poor chap couldn't possibly mean this the way it sounds. It would be suicidal to say this on a group chat dominated by school moms because you may find, it is totally within these women's control to wait for you on the school steps, hoist you above their shoulders and throw you in the nearest garbage bin.
Saturday: My Noida trip has come to an end and armed with a few large orders and having learned new phrases like "If you can do, do. If cannot then admit yourself", I decide to get home quickly before I need to admit myself to a mental asylum.
Sunday: My gynaecologist has asked me to attend a conference on women's empowerment at the Ambani hospital. This is the same man who has pulled two children out of me and can confidently say that he literally knows me inside out. I often make (not very funny) jokes that his idea of foreplay is perhaps tapping his wife on the head, as that is the one bit he must not be seeing the entire day. My name is called out and I get onto the stage, my heart is beating fast and my legs are a bit shaky, but speak I must, so this is what I say.
"They say that behind every successful man, there is a woman. What they don't say, is that while that woman is managing the successful man with one hand, with the other hand, she is printing out spreadsheets, making sure there is decent food in the house, looking at the children's homework and managing her own office.
Even our little satellite reached Mars because it was called MOM. If it was called DAD, it would still be circling the Earth, lost, but not willing to ask for directions.
In order to empower women we need three things, education, employment and a change in the way men perceive women.
How do we change this deeply ingrained perception? We are mothers. We are the ones raising an entire new generation. We shape their values and attitudes. We need to teach them right from the beginning that both genders are different, but our value is the same and we should lead by example. if that little boy at home sees his mother being pushed around and bullied by his father or other members of the family, though he doesn't like his mother getting hurt, he is also absorbing an important lesson, that this is acceptable.
We must not let that happen. If we want to empower women, we need to be empowered mothers so that we can lead the next generation of men and women into a life of true equality."
That evening, I ask the man of the house, "So, do you think we are equals or am I weaker in any way?" He laughs, "Of course, you are weaker!" And trying to imitate me in a ridiculous falsetto voice, continues, "Baby push this coffee table na, I can't move it."
Muttering under my breath that his jokes are not funny, I box him on the head and go off to check on our son's homework and send my accountant an email while the man of the house keeps circling around the television and the couch.
