Malamaal Weekly: Boring, stilted and loud

MUMBAI: Priyadarshan, the eminent director especially of comedies, has been quoted as saying, "My Malamaal is totally and absolutely original. I am willing to offer a prize money (sic) to anyone who catches me out remaking anything this time."

On seeing Malamaal Weekly, your heart sinks like the Titanic. Alas, because your memory has preserved the plot of a little-seen Irish film titled Waking Ned Devine (1998) still available at the DVD lending libraries.

So a copy was acquired to reconfirm its plot, which is - a lottery winner dies of shock and his fellow townfolk gang up to claim the money.

Nearly all the locals of the Irish hamlet get together to keep the winner's death a secret from the lottery official. Among the characters are a couple of garrulous geezers (Ian Bannen-David Kelly), one of whom is pushed into impersonating the dead departed winner of the windfall.

And there's a nasty woman thundering around  on her battery-powered chair. Plus, there's a handsome young man, who longs to win the most attractive maiden in the vicinity.

As it turns out, Malamaal Weekly has a virtually similar plot, topped by two garrulous geezers played by Paresh Rawal (with false teeth shaped like tombstones) and Om Puri (dunked in wheat flour), one of whom is pushed into impersonating the dead departed winner of the windfall.

The battery-operated chair is replaced by an ancient motorbike side-car occupied by a nasty thakurain (Sudha Chandran). Plus, there's a handsome young man (ulp, Riteish Deshmukh) who longs to win the most attractive maiden (Reema Sen, wethinks)  in the vicinity. Egads.

And oh, how can you miss out on the chicken dinner hosted for the locals in Waking Ned Devine? In Malamaal Weekly, the chicken is replaced by a Rakhi Sawant cabaret.

The dubious church priest of Waking who assents to the lottery scam is replaced by a dubious church priest, Shakti Kapoor, who assents to the lottery scam.And so yawn and so forth.

Well, maybe it's a classic case of great filmmakers - the Irish Kirk Jones and our very own Priyadarshan - thinking almost alike. Let's give him, Priyardarshan that is, the benefit of doubt.

Now, the question is: Does this desi rustic comedy tickle your appetite for guffaws- 'n'-giggles? Sorry, it doesn't.

Far too boring, stilted, loud (carry your ear-plugs please) and repetitive, the Kaun Banenge Crorepati mad-a-thon leaves you quite brain dead. Simply because the gags fall flat and the dialogue boggles the imagination. Take this: "I'll shove an umbrella in your mouth and open it too." Ouch.

About the only upbeat features are the southern rural locations and Sabu Cyril's set décor.

Of the cast, Rajpal Yadav, as the village stud, is as unbelieveable as Holi in December. Riteish Deshmukh acts with his mouth wide open.

For sure, you expect the thespian skills of Paresh Rawal, Om Puri and the Malayalam actor Innocent (portraying the dead man smiling) to save the show from disasterdom. Lucklessly, even the stalwarts are reduced to hamming to the hilt.
A tip: Desist from putting your money on this Indo-Irish lottery ticket.

PS: Priyadarshanji, where's the prize money?

Things to do on Sunday

Movies

Not much of a choice on the Mumbai moviefront. The two best tickets in town are for Rang De Basanti (if you haven't seen it already), and then Taxi No. 9211, essentially for Nana Patekar's ace performance as a closet taxi driver.

History of Violence, featuring Viggo Mortensen as the good laidback guy who must resort to bang-bang and fisticuffs to protect his family, may not have won Oscars, but should have.

Walk the Line: Johnny Cash biopic is worth driving miles for, especially if you have a taste for retro-music, with a country flavour.

DVD

Good Night, and Good Luck: For the movie connoisseur strictly. Black-and-white, elegantly crafted it looks at the fine journalis of Edward F Murrow. Directed by George Clooney.

Some Like It Hot: Jack Lemmon-Tony Curtis in drag, Marilyn Monroe gorgeous and the hilarious lines of repartee, all directed by the great Billy Wilder. It'll make your Sunday even if you're seeing it for the hundredth time.

khalid@dnaindia.net