Mother's Day special: Brother-sister duo Sajid and Farah Khan talk about their mother Menaka

Farah Khan: ‘I developed a love for reading from my mother’

Mom was very young, a child bride, when she got married to my father, film producer Kamran Khan. She was just 19 when I was born. They separated when I was five and she had a very hard life by all standards. His movies started failing and mom was too young to handle all the stress and pressure. After they separated, she learned typing and shorthand and worked as a housekeeping supervisor at the Sea Rock hotel. For someone who had never worked a day she now traveled by bus. Now when things are good I want her to travel around the world with us but she wants to sit in her room and read a book!

My mother was very strict where education was concerned as she couldn’t study beyond class 9. Yet, mom is one of the most intelligent and well-read. She can talk about everything from world politics to cinema to literature.

She’s a self-taught lady. We would not have money for food, but she paid our school fees. She was more strict with me which is why I always topped in school. Once I remember I came back home crying and wouldn’t go inside. When a neighbour asked me if I had failed I said I was crying because I had come second in class and was petrified to go into the house and face mom. At that time time though you resent that pressure, as I grew older I realised that it was because of that competitive drive I could achieve what I did in life. My mom pushed me to those levels. It comes with a great price but then if I didn’t get that push and was mollycoddled then I may not be where I am. I guess that’s tough love.

It is also because of my mother that I have developed a love for reading. Of course, there are the bad habits too like nail-biting, but then there’s her sense of humour too, which both Sajid and I got from her. People tell me my humour is rubbish compared to my mom. Her way of looking at life with all its hardships has been inculcated in me. She’s honest to another point and her integrity is remarkable. I told her I would give her some money for Mother’s Day to buy what she wants and mom asked me coolly to donate it to Nana Patekar’s NGO for drought-affected people. She made me fel so bad that now I will donate some amount separately too!

Sajid Khan: ‘Mom is the most honest person I know’

Mom has a very British sense of humour, which her sisters Honey and Daisy also have. We have grown up looking at them and have imbibed that humur. Mom is also the most honest person I know. I got her an Ipad and I am teaching her all about YouTube, WiFi and Netflix. I’ve attached her smart TV to it as she likes watching British programmes. You will see her only watching news and information channels like ITC, IPCTV,  BBC Channel 4. 

I had almost become a juvenile delinquent when I was a teenager. I troubled her a lot. I think mom and my aunts just gave up on me. I used to smoke, was part of a gang… Farhan, Zoya, Farah were all so good. Mom must have thought ladka haath se gaya… Now I am 44 and mom still chides me saying, ‘Look at your hair’, ‘Why are you smoking so much?’ or ‘Lose weight. Who will marry you if you put on so much weight?’ That’s mom for you.

We have gone through our share of misfortunes… There was a time when we were very poor but mom’s ability to come out of it smiling no matter how tough it was – is something Farah and I have learned from her. It  gets us through our darkest times.

Mom has always had very middle-class values which Farah and I carry with us even today. Today, we can afford to have things but we still dont spend recklessly.

 My dad,  producer (Kamran Khan) lost money and we led a hand-to-mouth existence. We never had many varieties of food. Then when I could afford to eat biryani or a sandwich it became a source of frustration for my stomach. When we were the fittest when we didn’t have food. Now we try to lose weight. Mom understands today that I enjoy food and lets me be because there was a time when I couldn’t.

I don’t touch my mom’s feet every day to take her blessings — like a Rajashree film hero but I feel other things are more important. It’s not about what you show but what you feel in your heart. It’s very important to look after our elders. I make sure that mom has got everything she needs and is happy. I love the fact that all my friends from Akshay (Kumar), Sajid (Nadiadwala) and Riteish (Deshmukh) are like me. We treat our moms as the head of family and respect them from the bottom of our hearts.