That mistress of vices

Our films

Gangster
Cast: Kisser, Frizz, Intense Ahuja
Direction: Anurag Basu
Rating: **2
Chalo Korea. A lost Seoul in Soul..oops whoever..downs whisky as if she’d just seen Devdas by Bimal Roy, jumps off boats before lifeguards can say, “Ahoy” and rants and raves at her toy boy. No joy.

Who on earth is this Devdaisy? A bored bar dancer before the ban, she is the platonic mistress of vices in  the Mukesh Bhatt-produced and  Anurag Basu-directed Gangster. Any resemblances to Abu Salem-Monica Bedi are purely incidental.

Derived more from dvd’s of Revenge, Donnie Brasco and eerily enough, a ding dong D-grader titled Khilona (1996) in which Ms Bedi was pursued by a gangsta as well as a man in khakee. Oh, oh.

Now, Khakee is converted into a Nightclub Sonu Nigam (Emraan Hashmi). And yo, he has two lip-to-lip mooch-a-thons with Devdaisy (Kangana Ranaut) whose hair turns frizzier than a gollywog’s on mouth contact. Really, our daisy’s coiffure resembles Deepti Naval’s in her salad daze. No kidding.

Next: Nigam and Frizz repair to a vertigo-inducing terrace straight out of Basu’s own Murder – with a pre-arranged sponge matress, fluffy pillows, laundered bed-sheets and invisible punkahs. Kool?

Hardly. The gangsta (Shiney Ahuja), you’ve been waiting for since hours, finally fetches up at intermission point. Predictably, Sonu Nigam and he war like Alexander and Porus over Frizzy’s affections.

In the bargain, they jog madly on highways, tumble down Asiatic Library-kinda steps, and even deal with dear Gulshan Grover who growls that women are good only to “ragdo.” Sharmila Tagoreji, were the censors snoozing?

In this often tortoise-paced sigh bhaaji,  there are some fringe benefits. Pritam’s music score is first-rate, especially the rousing Ya Ali qawwali. Bobby Singh’s camerawork is marvellously bluesy and stylish.

And Basu does have a directorial stamp (working frequently through tight close-ups). If only, he’d write himself a more original and unpredictable script. Please?

The Khwaaishen Aisi dude Shiney Ahuja, in an underwritten part, has a steel strong screen presence. In the few rage-spewing scenes he’s assigned, he’s terrific.

Newcomer Kangana Ranaut screams, screams and screams till you’re convinced she has a lung way to go. As for the kissaholic Hashmi, you do peer at him very closely. He’s almost lipless which could well be the secret of his excess.

Bottomline: A notch above the ordinary, it’s worth sampling compared to the Hackneyed Mohans and Soggy Shaadi Se Pehles.

To boo or not to boo
Darna Zaroori Hai
Cast: in plaster
Direction: Factory Mazdoor Union
Rating: **
Awww, go ahead and caw caw. Would even scarecrows be scared by yet another horror cornival from Ram Gopal Varma? Well, this crowtic wasn’t. No spine tingle, no regrets about being single (in the odditorium, that is), no snoreless nights. No nut..ting.

Swear on Dracula’s fangs, Darna Mana Hai was much superior to this Zaroori Hai business. If you try hard to appreciate some elements – after all RGV has been on the scene for donkey’s years – well, then you may certainly like the Sajid Khan-directed preamble about a tandoori chicken-chomping moviegoer (Manoj Pahwa,  excellent) who makes fun of Varma’s snoozers.

At least here, Varmaji doesn’t revel in his ho-hum fixation with the Chopras and Johars.

Ulp, you spoke too soon. Anil Kapoor shows up as film-maker Karan Chopra in a humdrum episode co-featuring the nation’s non-actress No 1 Mallika Sherawat.

About the only episode that’s truly gripping is the one directed by Chakraverthy, with Randeep Hooda and Zakir Hussain snarling away Exorcist-like in a prison cell. The Amitabh Bachchan-Riteish Deshmukh story (or the lack of it) is much too abrupt  and slapdash to leave any impact. 

As for the gambit of making a goggle-eyed grandma narrate the five (or six?) stories to a buncha schoolkids, have a heart Varmaji. The kids, you suspect, will turn into bhoots as they always have in every  shriekfest from Alfred Hitchcock Presents and The Twilight Zone to the Ramsay classeeeks.

In fact, after this you want to become a ghost, haunt Varma’s Factory and seriously advise him Kabhi Zaroori Na Kehna.khalid@dnaindia.net