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"I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams," Chrissy wrote.
Model Chrissy Teigen on Friday penned an emotional note about the loss of her son and said she is full of regret that she did not look at his face when he was born.
Chrissy posted a motley of pictures on Instagram from a shoot in Mexico that was being done around the time she was expecting her third child, Jack. In the first image, Teigen is lying in bed dressed in a white sating outfit. The second picture has her along with her husband, singer John Legend. She is seen sitting on the bed dressed in satin-lace nightwear.
The third picture has her sitting by the pool dressed in a white see-through outfit, all drenched.
"These are from our video shoot for Wild in Mexico. I was 10 weeks along and out of my mind happy. I knew the video would take a bit to get together so thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the ol classic hand on belly trick at the end. I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks," she wrote on Instagram.
Teigen added: "Not sure I`ll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so. He would have been here any day now -- if he were like Luna and Miles, I'd probably be holding him as we speak."
"I am so full of regret that I didn't look at his face when he was born. I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams," she further wrote.
Teigen, who has two children Luna and Miles, said that she hurts every day from remorse.
"This month is a rough reminder and to be honest, I thought the worst was over but I guess life and emotions aren't on any sort of schedule. Love you guys to pieces and am grateful for all your support and love. I firmly believe energy and healing travel through the night sky and I feel it, I promise I do. and I love you jack. I miss you so so much," she wrote.
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