Fast X movie review: Fast and Furious somehow manages to get cringier, worse in this headache-inducing 'family' drama

Director: Louis Leterrier

Cast: Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, John Cena, Nathalie Emmanuel, Jordana Brewster, Sung Kang, Scott Eastwood, Daniela Melchior, Alan Ritchson, Helen Mirren, Brie Larson, Rita Moreno, Jason Statham, Jason Momoa, and Charlize Theron

Where to watch: Theatres

Rating: 2 stars

It’s not often that a film begins with a scene from a previous intalment of the franchise. Sorry, scratch that. Not just a scene but a 10-minute action sequence in full. Fast X, the tenth (really?) instalment in the Fast and Furious franchise tries everything from nostalgia to high-action action and starpower to sell the film. It even tries to get all meta with the audience. Sadly, it does all that in a half-hearted, amateur and lazy manner that nothing works.

Fast X brings back Dominic Torreto (Vin Diesel) and his family. Yes, this is a word that you will read a lot in this review because every character makes it a point to say it at least twice in every sentence throughout the film. The ghosts of Dom’s past have caught up with him and Dante Reyes (Jason Momoa), the son of the man he killed in Rio de Janeiro 10 years ago (remember Fast Five?) is back for revenge. Dante wants to destroy Dom’s family, making them suffer before. Cornered, hunted, and betrayed, Dom must turn to old friends and even foes to survive and outwit his new nemesis.

The plot has never been the strength of the Fast and Furious franchise, not since the last half a dozen films anyway. The USP has always been the high-octane, visually-stunning action, usually centred on cars doing things that should be physically impossible but somehow look believable when Torreto and Co are doing it. That is exactly what Fast X lacks. The films in this franchise have gotten progressively insane. They sent a car to space last time around, for crying out loud. How do you top that? Fast X doesn’t try to. It’s action is a throwback to the franchise’s early days, which is why it seems underwhelming in comparison with what we have already seen it dish out.

A huge rolling bomb sequence filmed in Rome and Vatican City is a deliberate throwback to the Fast Five’s safe heist through Rio. Several other sequences involving helicopters and a burning dam are also exquisite but never mind-boggling. The action sequences never jump at you, like some of the previous ones in the franchise have.

Fast X tries to make up for that lacklustre action with starpower. It crams in as many stars in the plot as the 140-minute runtime can handle. There is Helen Mirren, Jason Statham, John Cena all returning while Brie Larson and Alan Ritchson are the new faces. And of course, the core family is all there. Not many prominent members of the Fast family are missing here, which means there are whistle-worthy entry sequences every five minutes. But none of them lead anywhere.

It would be criminal to look for logic in this franchise (please refer to the car in space scene above). But one does expect that the film or world would follow its own logic if not the real world’s. But Fast X abandons that too. It wants us to believe in a world where a man waits is the world’s most wanted criminal and his family is busy playing video games in another part of the world unaware. They ask too much of us. The dialogue is cringe-max, with every sentence structured in a way that it can somehow include a reference to family or brotherhood.

Amid all this, the performances suffer too. Vin Diesel wasn’t expected to deliver an Oscar-winning performance but his Dom Torreto looks tired by now. His performance seems half-hearted. Jason Momoa, John Cena, and Brie Larson are the only people who somehow manage to infuse some life into the film with their performances. Momoa’s histrionics as the villain are not new but at least something different. Let me sum up the acting analysis with one observation: When Helen Mirren can’t pull it off, you know something has gone wrong somewhere in the writing and direction.

Watch Fast X only if you are allowed to sneak drinks into the theatre and can play a drinking game where you take shots every time someone says ‘family’. Although, unless you are really good with your drinks, I expect you to pass out in the first half hour. I do realise that I just wrote 700 words trashing a film that will, in all likeliness, make a billion dollars at the box office. I will leave it you to decipher what that says about the film, this review, and the state of global cinema in general.