Even as the country grapples with the rape of a six-year-old girl in a high profile school in Bangalore, various questions have been raised on the subject of the safety of children in India. With the rise in crimes against India's little ones, parents and concerned adults have begun to recognise the key problem that lies on in the efficacy of our laws, but in the lack of awareness among those very people who have the responsibility of protecting the young ones.
Child sexual abuse survivor Harish Iyer, shares with dna advice on how parents can approach the subject of child abuse with their children.
1. Never overdo respect - Very often parents demand the child show unconditional respect to adults, without realising that it could be the very individual who could be exploiting the child. This extreme ingrained respect could prevent the child from coming forward with a complaint of abuse.
2. Don't assume that only girls need to be protected, and boys need to be the protector. Sexual predators usually don't discriminate in gender. (If it is a boy, remember, boys can cry)
3. Similarly, don't expect the abuse to only be by a male. It could very well be by a woman.
4. Don't expect some one else to educate your child on the subject of child abuse. And there is no better time to do it than now.
5. Sex education is not pornography. Approach the subject with sensitivity, but it is very important to start with naming body part—an eye is an eye; a nose is a nose; a penis is a penis and a vagina is a vagina.
6. It would require a great amount of trust on the part of a child to come to you with a complaint. Don't interrogate them with intimidating questions, or with statements that would make them doubt their own authenticity.
7. Don't ask your child why they took as long to bring up the issue as they did. It requires a lot of courage on their part to come forward; be patient with them.
8. Don't confront the abuser in front of the child, but do assure the child that you will address his/her complaint.
9. Don't blame the child. It is not the child's provocative dress or misplaced trust, despite your warnings, that got the child abused. It was the abusers cruel intentions.
10. Don't get overprotective of the child; you might end up cultivating low confidence. Give them the impression that the world is a beautiful place with few bad men, rather than the other way round.
11. Don't create a panic situation. Children who get sexually abused are capable of living happy life. I am happy person.
Parents can also get in touch with Harish Iyer for further counselling. Iyer is available on harish.iyer@hotmail.com
Other important organisations:
Mumbai - Arpan
Chennai - Tulir
Delhi - Rahi Foundation
Bangalore - Enfold
It would also do good for children to know the child helpline number for Childline India Foundation - 1098
