Once hounded by a cyber stalker, this Mumbai woman now conducts workshops on online harassment

There are stories we read on the internet or watch as part of a television show of a couple that falls in love and everything seems perfect. Then all of a sudden, there is a twist in the tale where it is revealed that one of the partners lied about everything in the relationship, including where they worked and what they did in their spare time. This partner usually has a say in everything you do, shatters your self-confidence, and isolates you from your friends and finally dumps you when you have nobody left in the world.

While we wish these stories existed only in fiction, there are cases that have happened in real life. Take the case of Mumbai resident Akancha Srivastava. Last year, Akancha wrote a blog titled, “`Love, Trauma & Life With A Sociopath”, which was shared over a million times thanks to the power of social media. To cut a long story short, Akancha, who runs a brand consulting firm out of Mumbai, was introduced to a fellow entrepreneur in 2015. Over a period, he charmed his way into her life and even introduced her to his parents. He knew what made Akancha happy and everything was wonderful for a while. 

Then the problems arose. There was constant lying, emotional abuse, and finally Akancha discovered that everything Mr Perfect had told her was a lie - even the company he worked for. It didn’t exist! She then discovered that he had been stalking her on Facebook to know her likes and dislikes, her friends, and every move she made.

Down, but not out, Akancha then decided to fight back. She got in touch with police officers, lawyers and cyber experts to understand the ramifications of cyber stalking and cyber bullying. The result: Akancha today runs a non-profit initiative ‘Akancha Against Harassment’ where she teams up with police officials and lawyers to counsel those who have experienced a similar ordeal to her. “Fortunately, a number of people have got in touch to share their story, after i shared mine. We tell them the law and how it favours the victims,” she told DNA.

Akancha originally started conducting workshops in Mumbai, but since February has also expanded to New Delhi, Bengaluru, Hyderabad and Chennai. “I will now visit Indore, Bhopal, Jodhpur and Jaipur and start my workshops for Tier 2 cities,” she added.

“Online harassment is a menace that has impacted and unfortunately also taken many lives. Laws are slightly unclear in this regard. People don’t have clarity in the processes & how to create paper trails. There’s apprehension about approaching the police as they might ask uncomfortable questions. All these factors together result in abusers getting away scott free. It emboldens them,” she said on the reasons why she started these workshops.

When asked how she was generating revenue, given that the workshops were free, Akancha said that she had received support from PayTM. “They have advertised it on their app and website and have been one of our biggest supporters.”

Akancha also has a word of caution for corporate organisations. “Corporates need to conduct workshops on tackling online harassment and cyberbullying as part of their CSR. It’s 2017 and while I don’t discount the importance of education and eliminating hunger, companies will be lagging behind if they don’t start training their employees on the perils of cyber harassment,” she said.

She shares some pointers on cyber bullying

1 The shame of abuse ALWAYS lies with the perpetrator. NEVER with the victim.
2 The day you speak up, you have passed that shame back to the perpetrator
3 The law is on your side, the cops are on your side, you have all the support you need to fight back abusers. Never believe otherwise.
4 Take some time to learn about prevention like: Never upload your young kids’ pictures, never check-in in real time, never reveal your holiday schedule, do not accept stranger’s requests on Facebook etc
5 Do not use public wifi for checking sensitive emails or doing financial transactions.
6 All major cities have women cops in the Cyber Crime unit. It’s your right to request for a lady cop to be present during questioning.
7 If you feel that you are not being understood clearly by the Cyber Police team, find out about their senior officials & escalate the issue. All senior Cyber teams are now online & they take these issues seriously.
8 Simply outraging about abuse on social media will not help. It’s critical to take necessary action.
9 Learn about what is & isn’t a punishable offense.  
10 Build a circle of trust. It could be your friends, family or whoever you trust. Immediately inform them of any incident for abuse & seek help. Remember, life is precious & let nobody in the world make you feel otherwise.