Yup, I have trust issues. I trust most people, with the face they present to me. And I feel that’s the best way to go through life. It’s a diifficult burden to bear, if you have to armour up. And always live life on guard.
The fact is even when I cook, If I have done everything like I am supposed to, I know the taste of the dish even before it has been cooked. And so, I just go about my cooking and life in the way I know best, all smiles and wih a full heart.
And I also know that life is not a recipe and sometimes, all recipes do not go according to plan.
And so a few years ago, while I was taking a really important exam, I was to cook something I have actually learnt from my mom, and I always get it right. So, I prepped everything, and did all that was required, and when I presented the final dish. It did not look right to me, but because it was all done to the T, I just went with it. It was a disaster to say the least, and it broke me down to the tiniest molecule in my body. I got out of my exam and, sobbed till my body was too exhausted. I have gone over and over and over what I did that day, and could not for the life of me, figure where I went wrong. So, maybe it was the oven, maybe I placed the dish too low and so it did not cook in the required amount of time, there were just so many maybes. But I learnt a lot from that experience.
I learnt that you cannot control outside influences, you can only do the best you can with all that you have, and the rest is left to that beautiful thing in life called “chance”.
Most times everything just runs smoothly, food gets cooked to perfecion, everybody loves it, you are a happy bunny. But once in a little while, your life does not have the end result of the amount of time, effort and love you put in.
And you know what, that’s the way life is. How boring life would be, if everything was as standardised as products in a factory line, you would never learn anything new. You would never really see all the colours and options you actually have in life, and you would not know all kinds of people if you did not let them in.
Just like food where you get to meet so many different ingredients with different cusines if you are open to try out and explore. In life you will come across so many different people.
I read somewhere, “Don’t trust everything you see, even salt looks like sugar” And I found this so profound. And the fact is salt in a savoury dish, is as important as sugar in dessert, it is just that you need to check what exactly you have picked up, before mixing it in your dish, that’s all. And in the odd situation that you did pick the wrong ingredient. It will just teach you to be a little more vigilant next time. That’s all. And trust that what you do with all your heart, will bear results.
Yes, it maybe a bit slow and not exactly with the timing you wanted. And you may think, that you have really bad timing. But I have realised that every experience in life just sets you, to welcome what is right for you at the time the universe has transpired to give it to you.
And so I got back into that kitchen, cooked the hell out of that baked chicken and continued to, till I could figure just by looking at it, when it is beautifully succulent.
So yes life is not always about crossing your ‘T’s and dotting your I.
Its ok to live life making the mistakes you do, and everytime you do, you just find a little more of you and is that not nice...
