Teenage anxiety can be managed with timely help

My 14-year-old son gets extremely anxious before exams and starts throwing up, and ends up with a stomach ache. Do you think we can do something about it?

It sounds like your child’s anxiety seems to get the better of him. For children particularly and sometimes even adults, their anxiety shows in physical symptoms such as stomach ache, headache or even uneasy feelings of nausea or throwing up. I suggest you set up an appointment with a psychologist, who can help your child deal with anxiety by using effective coping techniques. The therapist can help your child identify his irrational thought pattern that might be interfering with his ability to cope with the situation. The therapist can also teach breathing and relaxation techniques to ease off his anxiety. While anxiety is not a negative emotion, it can definitely get overwhelming if it is in excess. So the trick is to help your child learn to be calm, develop a more empowering narrative where they know they can cope with the situation. Don’t wait for the symptoms to play out again. This definitely can be managed with timely intervention and adequate steps in the right direction.

I feel extremely worried for my 13-year-old daughter falling into bad company. As a result, I have started becoming paranoid, to the extent that she gets irritated as I question her a lot about her behaviour. Although nothing has happened, I still worry.

I can understand that you are concerned about your daughter’s well-being. It is very natural for parents to worry when their children step into teenage years. This worry comes from a place of concern, as you realise that children are going to be more independent and also exposed to the world in ways you don’t have control over. 

Having said that, it is important for you to manage your own anxiety in the first place, since it can give your daughter an impression that you don’t trust her. In any case, the feelings of paranoia can be exhausting for you as well as frustrating for the child.

If you think there are deeper issues involved here it may help to see a therapist who can help you with not just managing the feelings, but also help you cope with skills that allow you to develop a stronger bond with your daughter.

Have something to say? Write to dnaofteens@gmail.com, rama.ramanan@dnaindia.net