How small steps can set off a chain of positivity

At such moments, you realise that you and the other are, in fact, one. 
It is a big realisation. Survival is the second law of life. 
The first is that we are all one. 

- Joseph Campbell 

Yay! A week of fun and festivities again. As the sun begins its northbound journey, bring out the colourful kites. Find friends who make til-gud at home. Gather wood for Lohri and hoard industrial quantities of groundnuts to trade them for pongal. If that does not work, use emotional blackmail to usurp huge quantities of sweet pongal. Hope arises when societies find more things that unites them. 

Our world presents a captivating palate of colours and textures. The interpretations of the palate create possibilities. Regardless of where you start, and which direction you travel, every few hundred kilometres, you find a subtle change in cultures.

Yet a harmonious continuum is formed when individuals, friends, families, neighbourhoods, communities, societies, countries and global communities engage with each other to align themselves to make great progress. It is called Social Resilience. 

Let me take you back to a story of two ships, a small ship called the Grafton and another huge one called Invercauld. The Grafton’s crew was truly multi-national. Captain Thomas Musgrave, (an American); Raynal (the person who paid for the voyage and the first mate) a French citizen; Alick (Norwegian); George Harris (an Englishman); and Forges (from Portugal). On January 3, 1864, a hurricane struck their fortunes and it sunk off the southern part of the Auckland Island. The captain and his four men made it to the shore. Invercauld, was piloted by Captain George Dalgarno with 25 men, when on May 10, 1864, a hurricane sank the ship. Nineteen of the crew survived and made it to the shore on the Northern part of the same Auckland Island. 

Both the groups were not aware of the existence of the other group on the same Island of Auckland, which was a very tough place to survive, with high cold winds and no food to eat. Both the crews faced the same environment. 

The crew of the Grafton, built a tent and then a permanent cabin. They manufactured clothes, started reading classes, hunted for food. After sometime they decided to build a boat. They kept failing but persevered. They finally built a boat, but it was highly unstable. They realised that only three people could travel back to New Zealand. They had to leave Harris and Forges behind. You can imagine the despair in the eyes of Harris and Forges, when they were left behind on the island. Braving the seas, the others reached land where Captain Musgrave met Captain Cross who piloted the Flying Scud and they sailed to Invercargill. In Invercargill, the public got to hear of the story and they raised enough money for Captain Musgrave to pay Captain Cross to sail back to the island and rescue Harris and Forges. 

The Invercauld crew on the other hand simply disintegrated. It was each man for himself. As a result, only three of the original 25 survived. It was just luck, that another ship, which had sprung a leak had sent a boat to the shore where they found the three crew members. 

Two sets of crew on exactly the same island, had very different outcomes.  

John Cacioppo, Harry Reis and Alex Zautra write about this story in their paper called Social Resilience – The Value of Social Fitness. They write that the two Captains created structures and norms when confronted with circumstances where individual behaviour meant certain death. Captain Musgrave created an organisation based on cohesion, consultation, trust and fairness. They entire team survived and Mr Raynall and Captain Musgrave actually went on to write books on their adventures. 

Though the authors talk about this story as social resilience, I would look at it as a story of Emotional Contagion. It is how an individual can influence the attitudes and emotions of an entire group. Positivity travels really fast. It is contagious. It impacts the connections that you make with the people around you. 

There are two ways to build contagion - Empathy and Tolerance. 

Empathy 

When you empathise with another person, you automatically experience a feeling of warmth and compassion and concern for each other. This sets off a strong series of thoughts and actions; which immensely benefit both parties. 

Tolerance and dignified engagement

When you meaningfully engage with someone, who has a differing view point, to understand their view point, you gain an important perspective. 

Picture this. If someone instead of replying with violence, had actually challenged Charlie Hebdo cartoonist Cabu, director Rajkumar Hirani, writer Salman Rushdie and the late painter MF Hussain to a debate on the intellectual quality, depth of knowledge, and artistic sensibilities, we would operate from a platform of common understanding of the future we need to create. 

Nearly a hundred years back an ordinary man was thrown from a train in South Africa. Another lady was refused a seat of her choice in a bus. The Dalai Lama, every since he was a young lad of 16 has been a beacon of hope.

Very small moves, that we do every single day, signal to each other positive intent. 

The diversity when interpreted with a deeper understanding of the context creates harmony. Harmony unites people across the globe.  Language and art forms the core of communication.The ability to communicate is how civilisations were formed. The human race has survived thousands of years. Each language produces poetry and folklores that stir the soul. 

Amazing food is another integrator of people. The food in each part of the world is so different, yet delicious, if you have an open mind. Our clothes are so gloriously different. The Kanjeevaram silks, cottons, the robust denims and kurtas, The distressed clothes and the elegant, all united by the looms that our ancestors discovered, more than 200 years back.

Festivals bring us together. A fortnight back we celebrated Christmas and ushered in 2015. This week of festivals, can we try something different? Can we put aside all our differences like those colourful kites that we will fly on January 15, and ride the divisive winds that destiny throw at us.

Try this. Think of something that you would like to do but have always been reluctant to try for fear of failure. Go ahead and do it. Even if you have to fake it. Look for additional opportunities to venture outside your comfort zone, ask for feedback and help, admit your mistakes, and so on. Notice your feelings, thoughts and behaviour as you exit your comfort zone.

If this is tough, then try something simple. Throw an impromptu celebration at work. Gift everyone a kite. Greet people with the delicacies of your cities. Even better, take the trouble find out the delicacies, that the people who work with you love and treat them.  Small steps will set off a contagion of positivity. The Grafton crew proved it. 

Happy Festivities and wish you a great week ahead!

The author is the Founder of The Positivity Company and also has over 23 years of global sales and service experience. This is a series of articles by the author called 'Positive Mondays' about how positive thoughts can have a multiplicative effect, simultaneously impacting all work and life outcomes.