Fathers have often been painted with the same dye stereotyping them to be frantic about their daughter’s safety, ready to punch the daylights of any teen who makes an impression on his offspring. However, one dad’s out of the box post has turned this image upside down. Choosing to break away from the mould, Writer J Warren Welch, from Tennessee, US, bucks the film-styled stereotype of dads who lock their daughters away from boys come 11 pm. He doesn’t stand on the porch aggressively when romantic types come to call.
Welch’s dating rules are...
Welch recently shared his idea of dating ‘rules’ on Facebook and the post went viral. He’s gone down the feminist route, empowering his children to make their own choices. Welch said he’s seen a lot of macho dads sharing what they would do were their daughter left heartbroken or worse. Some are very threatening, with fathers suggesting they’d be more than ready to use a shotgun if the situation called for it. But he has a very different approach. Titled, ‘Rules for dating my daughters’, the post read, “You’ll have to ask them what their rules are. I’m not raising my little girls to be the kind of women who need their daddy to act like a creepy possessive badass in order for them to be treated with respect. You will respect them, and if you don’t, I promise they won’t need my help putting you back in your place. Good luck pumpkin.” His views have received both support and criticism, some highlighting what could happen if he fails to protect his daughters. We got relationship experts to look at his post and to guide parents on how to navigate the dating/relationship phase.
Have family rules over dating rules
Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany says she agrees with this dad’s post and believes he is giving a platform to his daughters to be more independent. She adds, “He is breaking all the norms of being a protective father, who sometimes can cross the boundaries and overreact where their girl child is concerned. Not realising that some things are better left alone between two partners to resolve. We have seen cases where over protective behaviour has led to children not growing up maturely and making harsh mistakes in relationships.” However, she also believes that having family rules is more important than dating rules as they inculcate responsibilities in the members of the family. Also, parents need to have open conversations where kids feel free to vent.
Need a guide more than a protector
Psychiatrist Dr Hemant Mittal, on the other hand, feels that parents should act as guides more than protectors. He says, “As a professional, the best and most accomplished men and women I have met, are those who have had a sense of security since childhood to take their own decisions along with the support of their parents. It’s essential that a child is taught values and self-respect. Post that, they are allowed to take their decisions and also follow a set of rules they set for themselves. Parents are guides and friends who help the child clear the doubts without judging or comparing. It’s essential that the child develops his or her own personality rather than being a carbon copy of parents.” So, while Welch’s post is divisive with two camps fighting it out to stake claim to what’s the best dating approach, he has succeeded in creating a space for debate with his unconventional and more feminist approach.
