The year is drawing to a close. I am sitting swaddled in a warm blanket, a mug of hot green tea in my hand and my laptop open to a blank screen; the flashing of the cursor reminding me I have a deadline to meet. I have been doing this now for a year! A whole year, and were this a TV show I could say I have been signed on for Season 2.
It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. A year and a bit ago, I had just stepped into my 40s — a stay-at-home mom. There were hours upon hours in a day that I now needed to fill up. I had no idea what I was going to do, so when a friend suggested I try my hand at writing a column, I started thinking about it seriously. I wrote a sample piece and my editor loved it. Having had no formal training in any kind of creative writing, I was pretty much winging it.
She seemed to have more faith in me than I did in myself. Why would anyone want to read what I had to say? Do I really want my thoughts and opinions out there in black-and-white for the world to know and comment on? For someone who, most of her life has run in the opposite direction of the “spotlight”, it was frightening to be now marching into it. I don’t know what made me do it because I am especially bad at committing my time for such long periods. But I did and it has changed me and taught me a thing or two along the way.
My life thus far has been a trail of half-finished projects, all started well-intentioned, but somewhere along the way, I lost focus and drifted off into some other realm. Writing this column has forced me to commit; and by and large, I have managed to submit stuff when it was due.
It also made me open myself up to a whole bunch of experiences; all in the name of research, and with rich experiences came meeting and befriending, in some cases, different kinds of people (I was a confirmed introvert and a grouch). But most of all, it introduced me to myself, and for a year now, I have been steadily breaking down all the preconceived notions I had about myself!
Turns out I am not an introvert, though still a grouch, I have a lot of living to do. And the world, though a scary place, isn’t as unfriendly and intimidating as I thought it would be. But the most rewarding, by far, has been watching my parents’ faces light up every time someone complimented or appreciated something I had written.
So, as I step into 2016, a little more sure-footed and with my head held up a little higher, I hope that all of you get that chance, like I did, that will break you open and who knows, you may meet your true self along the way…
