The 'ex' factor: How the Brangelina drama would play out in an Indian context

When Hollywood A-listers Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt announced an end to their 12-year partnership (they got married only in 2014), the world – and social media – went into hyper mode about not just the end of brand Brangelina, but how his former wife Jennifer Aniston would react. That Brad and Jennifer have been divorced for 11 years, that she herself is married (to actor Justin Theroux) and has maintained a studied silence on the matter has made little dent. In an era where relationships and marriages increasingly come with short shelf lives, the dizzy speculation has brought into sharp focus how couples, particularly celebrity ones, deal with an ex's breakup and tangled family ties.

Broken in Bharat

India is no stranger to several high-profile marriages going kaput. But do Indians, given the complex socio-cultural matrix and traditional societal framework, deal with this any differently?

"Since marriages are still largely arranged and worked out by families, there is always greater pressure to keep it going with the 'how-will-the-children-be-affected' mentality. This can be particularly true if the woman is a homemaker. Then the compulsions can be financial. It is only after we've begun moving away from these paradigms that people have begun exploring separations and divorces," explains psychiatrist and relationship expert Dr Pavan Sonar.

The Padamsees

Dolly Thakore, who got divorced from theatre person and adman Alyque Padamsee years ago when their son Quasar was only two-and-a-half, says in hindsight she thinks it's better for couples stuck in unhappy marriages/relationships to go their own ways. "It's definitely better than people stuck in miserable marriages who then carry that negativity onto other spheres of their life," she says, admitting to being initially very hurt and angry with Alyque. "I was doubly protective of Quasar and tried very hard to shield him."

Dolly rubbishes talk of an exulting Jennifer Aniston. "I think this is a creation of the media and gossip columnists. The people involved, Brad, Angelina and Jennifer, are all grown-ups and have careers and a bodies of work that speak for themselves. They might hardly spend time mulling over these things." Reminiscing about her own separation, she says, "That feeling of loss and acrimony doesn't totally go away but over a period of time, one learns to live with it and move on."

The Padamsee household currently is what her theatreperson-son Quasar, 38, laughingly calls "a weirdly large-ish nuclear family".

Xavierite and adman Alyque was born into a traditional Kutchi Khoja Muslim family in the furniture business. He married the much elder divorcee Pearl Padamsee, who had two children, Ranjit and Rohini, from her earlier marriage. The couple had two children, Raell Padamsee (who runs her own theatre company) and Rahul Padamsee. The couple separated following his extended and committed relationship with Dolly. Then, Alyque separated from Dolly and married Sharon Prabhakar, with whom he has a daughter, Shazahn Padamsee. Since the late Pearl's son Ranjit now has a son, Alyque is a grandfather too.

Quasar went to boarding school in Rishi Valley when he was nine and remembers "being cured from all notions of victimhood because I came from a broken family." According to him, things began getting better by the time he was 14. "I'd credit a lot of that to Sharon, who went out of her way to be friendly. She would always be very warm to me. And I sensed that that changed my mother's attitude to her too. The arrival of Sharon and dad's daughter Shazahn was what finally changed things completely," he remembers and laughs, "You can hate the creator but not his product. This was my sibling and I felt a really strong bond with her."

He admits though that the 16-year gap between him and Raell hasn't allowed him to be as close to her as he is with Shazahn. "But I felt very special that Pearl made me a part of her last production. She was very generous and patient and often gave me sound advice."

While the family meets for get-togethers and dinners regularly, Dolly says neither she nor Alyque bring up the past. "We are always consciously warm and polite with each other."

The adman, known for speaking openly on most issues, was not too keen to talking about his own life. "It's not a very gentlemanly thing to do. I think you should talk to the women in my life. I'm sure they will have a lot to say," is all he quipped.

The star and the dancer

Nearly 1,000 km from the tony Breach Candy neighbourhood of the Padamsee residence in the salubrious HMT Layout in Bangalore, Bharatnatyam danseuse Vani Ganapathy has always maintained a steadfast silence about her breakup with actor Kamal Haasan several decades ago. The celebrated filmmaker and star, of course, has been quite open on the five women in his life.

Repeated break-ups have led him to stop believing in the institution of marriage, he has said. "I prefer live in relationships rather than marriage," he told a TV reporter and added, "Marriage gradually starts tasting like bad food that can't get into our system."

Vani says she has moved on and is devoted her life to dance. "Wherever Kamal is, I wish him well."

Only when Kamal claimed that alimony paid to her had left him bankrupt was the danseuse was furious. "Where was the need to bring this up 28 years after our divorce? I have always refrained from mudslinging, because these things are very private and personal. I could've understood if he had said what he did soon afterwards when the hurt was still fresh, but why talk obsessively when we have both moved on?"

She says she only spoke once to set the record straight. "I didn't want people to assume that anything in my house is bought with his money, since I have worked really hard to put my house and life together."

Vani has only met Kamal once since their divorce. It was nearly 12 years ago and purely by chance. "He was promoting a film and I saw him at a hotel, walking along the pavement. It felt surreal. He's changed so much. I reconfirmed with my pal who was sitting near me if it was him, before stopping the car to greet him."

As a beginner in moviedom, Kamal began seeing yesteryear actress (and several years older) Srividya, with whom he starred in several Malayalam and Tamil movies in the '70s. But the affair (leading to a movie based on their affair, Apporva Rangangal which was seen as radically non-conformist then) resulted in so many rumours and gossip, that it ended.

He then married Vani, a distant relative. This lasted a decade till he met Sarika on the sets of the Bollywood multi-starrer Raj Tilak (1984). The light-eyed actress gave up her career to move to Chennai, devoting herself to her two children from Kamal, setting up home and designing costumes for Kamal's films (her designs for Hey Ram got her the national award).

The couple got married years later. Kamal then fell for co-star Gouthami, Sarika's close friend. There are conflicting reports on whether Sarika knew this or not, but Gouthami, tired of this ménage à trois, went to find love and marriage elsewhere. Later, film magazines had field day chasing him about his intimacy with Simran Bagga, a co-star 22 years younger. This was the proverbial last straw that saw Kamal and Sarika divorce in 2004.

Simran, meanwhile, moved on and got married. Gouthami then returned to Kamal's life with her daughter from her first marriage. He has supported her in her battle with cancer. She now lives with Kamal, her daughter and his two daughters from Sarika.

While Sarika refused to speak, those close to her remember how the divorce impacted her initially. "She had not had the best of childhoods and was left to fend for herself in the big bad world of Bollywood by her own mother.

So when she fell in love with Kamal, she had given it her all," says a close friend and senior journalist who prefers anonymity. "She has since been able to make her peace with the way destiny played its cards."

He recounts how warmly Sarika greeted Kamal at the audio release of Shamitabh (which starred their daughter Akshara, along with Dhanush and Amitabh Bachchan). "She is now in quite a tranquil space and doesn't need the pettiness of taking pleasure in her ex's misery."

All Jennifer Aniston watchers, please note.