What are anxious attachments? Know about its signs, causes and how to overcome it

Written By Raunak Jain | Updated: Feb 21, 2023, 10:47 AM IST

Learn the signs and effects of anxious attachment in relationships.

Attachment theory suggests that the quality of our early relationships with primary caregivers shapes our attachment style. Anxious attachment is one of the four attachment styles that can develop based on the child's experiences with their caregivers.

People with anxious attachment often crave closeness and intimacy but also fear rejection and abandonment. They tend to rely heavily on their partner for emotional support and can become overly clingy or demanding in relationships. They may also have a negative view of themselves and believe they are unworthy of love and affection.

Anxious attachment often develops when a child experiences inconsistent or unpredictable caregiving. For example, if a parent responds to a child's needs with warmth and attention one day but is dismissive or absent the next, the child may develop anxiety about whether their needs will be met. This can lead to a sense of insecurity and a need for constant reassurance in relationships.

As adults, people with anxious attachment may struggle with feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, and anxiety about their partner's faithfulness. They may also become easily overwhelmed by emotions and have difficulty regulating their moods.

Anxious attachment can be a source of distress in relationships, but it is also a normal response to early experiences of inconsistent caregiving. It is possible to overcome anxious attachment and develop more secure attachment patterns through therapy and other forms of self-care.

One of the most best ways to overcome anxious attachment is to work with a therapist who specializes in attachment theory. A therapist can help you explore the origins of your attachment style and develop strategies for building more secure relationships. This may involve practicing  techniques to manage anxiety, learning how to communicate your needs effectively, and setting healthy boundaries in relationships.

Apart from therapy, there are many self-care practices that can help you overcome anxious attachment. These include developing a strong social support system, engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and practicing mindfulness meditation to cultivate self-awareness and emotional regulation.

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