I have no evidence to suggest that this story is true. Years ago, Russi Mody was on a visit to Bombay. He drove his Mercedes to Bombay House, the Tata’s headquarters, and parked outside. Immediately, a typical Bombay havaldar popped up. “Eh, kya karta hai? No parking sign nahi dekha. Tera baap ka rasta hai?”
Russi Mody got out of his car, gestured to the cop to follow and walked to the signboard at the head to road. “Dekho kya likha hai: Sir Homi Mody street. Woh mera baap tha. Yeh mera baap ka rasta hai.”
Okay, so Mody won that one. But he had a natural advantage. Still there were times when you couldn’t cross a Bombay cop. Even when Hindi films caricatured them and they were quite meanly and politically incorrectly referred to as “Pandu Havaldar’, they were still formidable characters. Tough, unrelenting and with the knack of showing up just when you didn’t want them to - breakers of traffic rules beware.
We were forced in school to be part of the Road Safety Patrol. I was useless at standing on the road at 7 in the morning and instructing people to walk on the pavement - under the supervision of a smart and exacting inspector - so I never graduated to the biggest honour - being part of the police bandobast at Chowpatty for the Ganapati immersions.
I still have my beret, whistle and lapel cord though and a photograph of myself looking depressed at 7 am. However, the depression with early morning school was quite standard as I entered adolescence and I cannot blame RSP for that.
The biggest thrill though was going to the traffic park in Colaba and being instructed in the proper use of traffic signals, the need for the highway code and the best of all - driving those pedal cars up and down the roads.
Actually best of all was being out of school and in the open. Legitimate bunking of classes, plus you were with the cops so who was going to question you.
Those tough Bombay cops were extremely patient and understanding with hordes of school children running around their well-maintained traffic park. Maybe this was their day to legitimately bunk work and away from catching errant Bombaywallas.
I have no idea whether any of this still happens and if the cops - so busy with useless nakabandis, making money, catching fake terrorists and running after VIPs — have the time to teach school children the basics of traffic discipline. I do know that every time I read or hear about Mumbai cops no longer being the best, I feel a little older.
—b_ranjona@dnaindia.net
