English press takes Team India to the dogs

The media here is known to be breathless and indefatigable. The Indian team got a taste of it on Friday. Its plummeting performance on the field came in for a sharp criticism. One writer likened it to a dog called Ci that is scared of the sheep it guards in a Somerset farm.

Among the reams of newsprint that are being devoted to England’s impending ascension to the No 1 position in the ICC’s Test rankings was this report that was as vitriolic and scathing as Michael Holding can be of someone who takes the new ball and hurls it at 60mph.

“And you might then think, reading this, that poor Ci has endured the worst day in the field of any living thing in Britain this summer; but you would be wrong. India, Thursday, post-lunch, third Test at Edgbaston. Beats him hands down. Old Ci sprinting down the lane, sheep in hot pursuit, would make this lot look positively combative. To be fair, he is probably better at catching, too,” widely acclaimed columnist Martin Samuel wrote in The Daily Mail on Friday.

“This Test looks beyond India now, meaning the series is lost and the world No 1 spot, too. And they deserve it. They deserve every thwack of this damn good thrashing for surrendering their place in cricket’s order without so much as a snarl,” he further wrote.

The writer also ripped apart the Indian fielding, and that of Rahul Dravid in particular, who has developed a habit of dropping catches in the slip cordon. “Now we know why Rahul Dravid is called The Wall. It’s because balls bounce off him,” he pointed out. Dravid dropped sitters offered by Ian Bell and Eoin Morgan on Thursday.

The report also took digs at India, saying England cannot celebrate enough of their success because of India’s timidity in the series. “Imagine scaling Everest only to discover the final leg of the climb was to be made via an escalator. That is what this must feel like. We were promised a contest, the two strongest teams in world cricket vying for supremacy, a battle royal. What we have witnessed instead is, aside from the odd flourish, a cakewalk.”

The paper also published a series of Virender Sehwag’s pictures claiming that the Indian opener may have applied some mint into the ball to extract swing. If India had hoped to get the ball to swing with the help of some sugary saliva, they were disappointed, it said.

Meanwhile, Geoffrey Boycott, who earlier said India were playing like Bangladesh, asked how they could become the No 1 side. “The question everybody keeps asking is how the hell did India get to No 1 in the world playing like this? They look a shadow of even an average team. The bowlers try hard but are military medium and the fielding at times is so unathletic it beggars belief. There are players walking around just waiting for the close of play and expecting England to win the game,” Boycott said.

Dhoni, too, wasn’t spared. “Dhoni has been sloppiness personified behind the stumps. True, he hasn’t missed many edges, but then there have not been too many to miss. Even the most eagle-eyed observers though, have lost count of the number of routine takes that MS has messed up,” wrote David Lloyd of the India skipper’s work behind the stumps. Going by the Indian team’s performance, nothing looked overstated.