Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where a person only feels sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional connection with someone. Unlike most people who may experience attraction based on looks or physical appearance, demisexual people require a deep bond before sexual attraction can develop.
What is demisexuality?
The term “demisexuality” was first used in 2006 in discussions by the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN). It is considered part of the asexual spectrum, where people experience little or no sexual attraction. For demisexual individuals, sexual attraction does not happen without a meaningful emotional connection.
It’s important to understand that demisexuality isn’t about choosing to wait for emotional closeness before sex, but rather about how sexual attraction works for them. For example, a demisexual person may feel no sexual attraction to someone they meet, but over time, after getting to know the person and building a strong emotional bond, they may start to feel sexual attraction.
Demisexuality is different from celibacy, which is the choice to abstain from sex, or from people who have personal values that guide their decisions about sex. Being demisexual is not a moral or cultural choice—it’s a natural part of how a person experiences attraction.
It’s also important to note that being demisexual doesn’t necessarily align with romantic orientation. A demisexual person might experience romantic attraction to any gender but will only feel sexual attraction after forming an emotional connection.
Despite growing awareness, demisexuality is often misunderstood. Some people wrongly assume it’s a form of prudishness or a lack of interest in sex, but it is simply a different way of experiencing attraction. As awareness increases, more people are learning about this orientation, helping to reduce stigma and create more understanding and acceptance.
