NEW YORK: A contrite Mel Gibson went on United States network television on Thursday to talk candidly about his battle with alcoholism and his shame over a drunken anti-Semitic tirade when arrested earlier this year.
The Oscar-winning director showed remorse at the comments he made to a Jewish police officer when arrested for drink driving in Los Angeles in July, but refused to concede he harboured anti-Semitic feelings.
"I said horrible things to him... I'm ashamed of that, that came out of my mouth and I'm not that, that's not who I am," he said.
"Alcohol loosens your tongue and makes you act, say and behave in a way that's not you."
Gibson said that after a period of abstinence he had been drinking again for a couple of months when he was pulled over on July 28 near the celebrity enclave of Malibu with an open bottle of tequila in the car.
"I guess I must have been a little overwhelmed, and that's what happens -- too much pressure, too much work, you do things that go against good judgement, he told ABC's Good Morning America.
"It is no excuse, by the way," he added.
"A few drinks later and I was in the back of a police car wailing."
The US-born star of such films as Mad Max, Braveheart and the Lethal Weapon series laughed uncomfortably as he recalled telling the officer, "I own this place" as he sat cuffed in the back of a police car.
Asked "if the police officer had been black", Gibson interrupted with "maybe," again laughing uncomfortably.
Asked what he might have said, he replied "who knows... It's unpredictable what's going to come flying out."
"(I'm a) happy drunk until I snap for no reason... you try and keep a lock on it," he said, adding: "I'm kind of a work in progress right now."
Gibson talked about his battle with the bottle, describing himself as "indefensible" against relapsing, and how he saw the incident as a "blessing" that made him realise he needed to tackle his addiction.
"Sometimes you need a cold bucket of water in the face to sort of snap to," he said. "Some people need a big tap on the shoulder. In my case, public humiliation on a global scale seems to be what was required."
But he outright dismissed suggestions that what he said -- allegedly uttering "fucking Jews" when he was pulled over and later saying: "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world" -- came from the heart.
"That's patently false... The stuff that comes out when you're loaded is, it's extreme," he said, while conceding: "It has to have some kind of place somewhere and you have to ask 'where is it coming from'."
Gibson, whose reputation was left in tatters following his arrest, apologised for the outburst and was fined $1,300 and slapped with a driving ban after pleading no contest to charges of impaired driving.
But he said the main thing he remembers from his arrest is how much he wanted to avoid fellow actor Nick Nolte's performance as a scarecrow in the mugshot circulated after his arrest for suspected drink driving in 2002.
"The first thing that went through my mind was Nick Nolte's photograph, so I did my best with a finger combing in the water fountain to sort of splash a little water on my face to not take one of those hideous mug shots," he said. "Vanity won out."
