Finding love…in three minutes

Speed dating has become a part of the global social fabric, and young Mumbaikars are watching the clock as they explore different avenues in their hunt for the perfect mate


It's said that an entire lifetime is not enough to really get to know a person. But recently, 13 women, dressed to the nines in skirts and stilettoes, and 12 men, all sporting expensive watches and carrying the latest cellphones, had three minutes to find their perfect partner.

Mumbai finally got its first taste of speed dating; a popular concept in the West, it gives busy singles an opportunity to meet prospective partners.

The event, held at the restaurant, Out of the Blue in Bandra, catered to singles between the age group of 23 and 35, and was organised by two women, Australian consultant, Sarah Parker, and conference producer, Jagriti.

It was over a few drinks - and bit of moaning over the invisibility of single men in the city — that these single working women came up with the idea of speed dating in Mumbai. "We thought that the life of a single person sucks in the city. Singles don't have an adequate platform to interact in a fun-filled and casual environment, and so we started Bombay Speed Dating," says Jagriti.

Although neither Jagriti nor Sarah has an MBA, their marketing tactics were sound. They headed straight to Facebook and started a Bombay Speed Dating group on the popular social networking site. "We got a lot of positive feedback, and so we decided to go ahead with it," says Jagriti.

While women were charged a registration fee of Rs800, men had to shell out Rs1,500. "We offer two drink coupons. And as the concept of speed dating is still in its nascent stage in Mumbai, it is difficult to get women on board," says Sarah, explaining the price difference. The idea was to get more women to participate.

The participants, including a few expats, were an eclectic mix, and hailed from diverse backgrounds and professions. There were commercial pilots, navy men, finance consultants and architects. The ambience was romantic with perfectly arranged candlelit tables for two, drinks on the house, and soft music playing in the background.

Each participant was given a tag stating the person's name as well as a rating card. The ladies sat at tables corresponding to their numbers, while the men moved — at the sound of a bell — from table to table, every three minutes.

"We didn't want the women to move because it's a little tough for them to shift every three minutes; they'd have to adjust their dresses each time," says Jagriti.

The rating card helped the participants keep tabs on the various people they met, and rate them accordingly. If a man and woman ticked each other, it was a match, and the organisers would provide them their contact numbers.

According to Jagriti, the dating scene in Mumbai is very different as discs and pubs in the city draw a mix of people, making it difficult to distinguish singles. "Men are apprehensive when it comes to approaching women, and when they do, the women usually give them nasty looks," says Jagriti.

When asked whether three minutes is enough to know a person, Sara says, "Three minutes is enough to at least know whether you want to meet that person again."
Hazel, one of the participants, says, "Initially, I was sceptical of attending the event, but after being part of it I think it's a good thing. If nothing else, you can always find a friend. It's a good way to network, especially for people who are new to the city."

She thinks that the trend of speed dating might catch on if the "quality" of participants is not compromised and people are thoroughly screened before participation. The only thing that turned her off was the number of Mumbai men "faking an accent".

"I think it was good, and the organisation was decent. Though I was happy with my drinks, I would have enjoyed it better if we were given four minutes of interaction instead of three," says speed-dater, Praveen.

The standard pattern of speed dating slots one, three, five, or seven minutes for participants, but Jagriti and Sarah stuck to three minutes after arranging a mock date where they found that one minute was far too short, while five was dragging it.
In their fast-paced life, city professionals don't seem to mind a speedy date, and speed dating is giving them just that, literally.

Deconstructing the speed date: A beginner’s guide
Speed dating’s origins are credited to Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish HaTorah, originally as a way to help Jewish singles meet and marry.

The first speed-dating event took place at Pete’s Café in Beverly Hills in late 1998.
A 2005 study at the University of Pennsylvania of multiple speed dating events found that most people made their choices within the first three seconds of meeting.

Furthermore, issues such as religion, previous marriages, and smoking habits were found to play much less of a role than expected.

Men and women are rotated to meet each other over a series of short "dates", usually lasting from three to eight minutes. At the end of each interval, the organiser rings a bell to signal the participants to move on to the next date. At the end of the event participants submit to the organisers a list of who they would like to provide their contact information to. If there is a match, contact information is forwarded to both parties.

Business speed dating has also been used in China as a way for business people to meet each other and to decide if they have similar business objectives and synergies. Speed dating offers participating investors and companies an outstanding opportunity to have focused private meetings with targeted groups in a compact time frame.

h_ansari@dnaindia.net