Blogging from Beirut

July 24, 2006

There is a very strong smell in the air tonight. I have smelled it before. I was in NYC during the 9/11 attacks. For two months after the attacks, NYC smelled like Beirut smells like tonight. It is a mixture of burnt buildings, electric fires, and charred bodies. It is a putrid and nauseating smell.

I closed all the windows in the apartment, but now we are choking from this sweltering heat.

Tonight the electricity was out... Beirut was so dark and silent.

Today I thought about my students in the Burj Al Barajni Palestinian Refugee Camp. They are caught in the middle of it all. Located right between the airport and Dahiye, I cannot imagine what they are going through. They already had water, medical and electrical shortages. It must be so bad right now. My heart is breaking...

Today I also thought about world domination. About how a few people control so much of what goes on today. It was too scary to continue the thought. So, I stopped.
July 23, 2006

Wow, looks like I lost it yesterday.

I was so upset and stressed out. I will never lose my faith in humanity. To everyone who has been writing me letters of support, I salute you! You give me faith and hope. And courage to keep on believing.

To my neighbours... it is actually illegal for me to communicate with you directly. That is why I have not written back. But I want to take this risk now to thank you for your letters of support. You have no idea how much it means to me. You are human, I am human.

We are both suffering. I know there are many of you who don’t approve this. Thank you so much for speaking out.

It is Sunday morning and my husband and I are going to try and do somethings we used to do, back in our previous life of two weeks ago.

We are going to leave the house for a few hours to visit family and friends.

Last night, after I went to sleep, we heard three bombs dropped on Dahiye, our bed shook, but I looked into my husband’s eyes and felt safe. I hugged him tight and thought to myself, “If this is my time to die, I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.”
July 22, 2006

Just heard the news and I feel sick. The telecommunications towers in the north have been hit.

This is insane! People are so afraid! This is psychological warfare!

This is unjust and inhumane!

Everyone in Lebanon is a direct target. We are all sitting ducks. Also heard today that the US is sending a new batch of weapons over to Israel. And that it’s expedited delivery!

So, let me ask this question: if Israel gets its weapons from the USA then by default doesn’t that mean that the USA is at war with Lebanon?

Isn’t that what they are saying about Iran and the Hezbollah? What did we ever do to the USA to get this? How can something like this be possible? How can mankind be so corrupt, greedy and inhuman?

I am so angry. I am so let down.

World, where are you? How can something like this be allowed to happen!

People are going crazy from stress, anxiety and depression. My head is constantly buzzing. I feel like I’m going to faint and vomit at the same time.

The Israeli army today blew up the satellite link for major TV news stations, LBC International and Future International.

Most of the Arab world keeps in touch with what is going on here through those stations. Now no more. How are they to know the truth? Is Israel slowly trying to choke us?

I spoke with an Irish photojournalist today. She said that she took some pictures yesterday of civilians who were injured from the bombing.

But she said that they would never get printed back home. Why? Because the newspaper would not want to disturb their viewers. What kind of garbage is that?

Please, whoever is reading this, please pass on the word. Please do what ever you can to help.

Tonight, so far, it has been very quiet. Too quiet. We all fear that this is the calm before the storm. They have been dropping chemical bombs in the south. Are they going to do the same with the rest of the country. I also heard they are using depleted uranium.

Does this mean that after this is all over with, we are going to be looking at a generation of cancer victims?

God, where are you?

The writer is a Beirut-based artist who keeps a daily blog.