I've started doing films fearlessly: Shahid Kapoor

Before we begin talking about Shahid, we chat about Finding Fanny. I gush about his dad Pankaj Kapur and just how brilliant he was in his scenes. I complain about how he never replied to the long katha I sent him to which I never got a reply, he says sheepishly that his dad is really bad at social interaction.

The best reaction you've got for Haider...
There a lot of very good ones, but the best one happened even before the film released. When my dad, who had already seen it, saw it again with me when I was in Delhi showing it to some family people. Mom saw it a second time, too. So, my dad and I always sit and like... spend time together after he sees a film of mine and I always ask him what he thinks, if I missed out on something and if he thought I could have some scene done differently. He is somebody whose point-of-view is really important….

So... what WAS his reaction?
I've never had my father look at me and say, "I think you have got it all". I have never got so many reactions in my life. I never had so many people asking me whether I expect a National award and I am like, 'Just calm down.' Vishal Sir has been forwarding me so many mails and texts and it's just been an amazingly special 10 days since the release. The reactions started with screenings we started having three or four days before the film released. Everybody was telling us that we were committing suicide by releasing it with Bang Bang because that's such a big, expensive, commercial film. And we were a very niche film in our appeal and in every way. But we always kind of felt like it's a period which can accommodate two films and Haider is a kind of film which provides you something which, honestly, no other film can really provide you. It is a unique experience and somehow, we all had a lot of faith in the film and eventually, when you have a good product, you really believe in your product -- and by that, I don't mean a film that you have calculated is going to do well, but a film from your heart you truly believe in -- it gives you a lot of confidence that cannot be explained. Maybe people who are seeing it from the outside, might not get it and feel it was very stupid, but all of us as a team just had this really really strong faith and pride in the film. We were all very proud of the product we made because it's definitely a very difficult film. (Someone comes in)

What stood out for you in the film?
I had actually no perspective of myself because unlike most parts, this one… felt like it was beyond my capacity. Honestly while doing the whole film, I constantly kept feeling like I am going to fall short and not be able to portray the serious facets this character needs to, because it's a very complex part and we didn't shoot it linear. We were shooting it in different kind of spaces, especially the portion where Haider is very silent, refuses to accept that his father is dead. And he finally discovers that his father is dead and after that, the portion where he kind of goes mad…

What made you accept Haider?
Haider makes this strong decision not to take revenge, which is why I actually did the film. I did the film because of two lines. One being that "Hindustan mein bhi azadi lathiwala laya tha, bandukwala nahi " and the second line being "Intiquam se sirf intiquam paida hota hai. Jab hum apne intiquam se azadi nahi paa lete, koi azadi hame azad nahi kar sakti." I think these were the two lines why I did the film. And for Haider to take that decision... then he obviously wasn't completely mad... he obviously had some sanity somewhere, right? So to play that guy who is mad, but not completely mad, was tricky and we were not shooting it chronologically (because the bald portion had to be shot at the end), it was all over the place. I was very worried whether it would come out smoothly...

When you saw the film, you felt you got it right...
You know, it was not so much about myself, but I just felt very proud of the product that we had made when I saw the film, because I generally feel everybody is outstanding in the film whether its Tabu Ma'am or Kay Kay, even Shraddha for her fifth film is very good. Everybody else is kind of established as actors and so correct in everything they do, that she brought this energy, I found very endearing. I thought she brought this really nice innocent quality to the film. I felt it added a layer to the film, something the other actors were not able to do... you know, that little imperfection, that little bit, I kind of liked that.

Everyone has an opinion on the film - political cinema or otherwise. When you were doing the film, did you realise it would end up being so controversial?
I had felt uncomfortable when I read a few things in the film and I wondered whether it was true.... First of all, it's a work of fiction. It's a movie, it's not a documentary. So we are not claiming that we are depicting something that has happened. It's an interpretation and it's a point-of-view.

But you went in knowing that this movie was going to have strong reactions from everyone.
Ya, we expected reactions and I am actually very overwhelmed with the fact that I have never got so much appreciation and positivity for a film. Of course, there is a section I am aware, has got put off by certain parts of the film and I respect their opinion and I have nothing against them. But a much larger part of the audience has connected with the human journey in the film. There are political angles in the film, but they are not really the film. The film is actually about, 'WOW, somebody has the guts to make it in India.'

I think we underestimate our audiences..
Look... at the time we made Haider, the only kind of films that are apparently working, I would say this in inverted commas "are supposed to be commercial are the ones which don't have a story, don't have any original characters, which are just structured into formats which will make good promos" and then audiences will come in and in the first four days, the collections will happen, everyone is happy, and that's it. And here is a filmmaker whose last two films have not done well. He's going out there and saying, 'I am not trying to run after commerce , I am trying to find who I am and make a film that I truly believe in.' And the result is Haider, which is such a special film because he went back to who he was rather than trying to listen to everybody around him. Actually, Vishal had three films in mind when Haider was being made, and he discussed all three with me. Kaminey 2 was one of them. There is another film called Julia, which he has been wanting to make and Haider was the smallest and the most non-commercial film, actually. But when we were talking about Haider, he just had this expression in his eye every time, and as an actor I just felt that he ireally wants to make this film. I asked him, 'Sir, which one do you want to make the most?' He said yaar somehow my heart is in Haider and he asked me, 'Will you do it?' I said yes. And he said, 'You will have to go bald,' and when he told me why, I was like, 'Okay, let's do this.' I guess that's all that he needed you know. He had an actor and that was at a stage where he hadn't started writing the script. But he wanted to make that film as it was a subject so close to him.

One gets the feeling that you were still trying to find your space. And you did R... Rajkumar because those films were working. But post that, you you seem to have decided not to run run after what is working do films that feel right. Like Haider?
To be honest, I have kind of become the kind of actor now who adapts to my filmmaker's world and I have started enjoying doing that a lot. Otherwise I don't think I could have done these two films – R… Rajukumar and Haider -- back-to-back. It's not possible. You have to completely surrender and submit to the filmmaker's world, sensibility, beliefs.. and I did that in both films. But I have said this before, I have always grown with this thought that the actor in me is going to make me the star. Being my father's son, I have always grown with that thought and it keeps creeping back into my system every once in a while and it keeps nagging me, 'Listen, you wanted to act, remember, star? All is great, but you wanted to act. Are you acting? Are you doing something which is challenging as an actor?' The biggest learning that I had, was actually my biggest fear and I feel very liberated that that's changed in the last two-three years… I used to always try and make the right choices, I used to always try and do the things which everybody thought would work because I was from a very middle-class family. I had gotten a break and fortunately, things had worked for me, but I didn't have any camp backing me. I had no security blanket behind me that if I made a mistake, somebody would sort it out for me and I would get another opportunity, so I always tried to make the right decision. And when I made those decisions, I realised that I was not being original anymore because originality can only come from unknown places. If you are doing something you know is already working, you are not being original. You are just copying somebody else, you are just following what everybody is doing.

I am very surprised because I always thought that you did films that you believed in.
No, I think now is the time when I'm truly doing films fearlessly as opposed to earlier. I still used to take very calculated decisions and I think I am being more fearless in my choices now and Haider was one of the most fearless choices that I have made. To do a film which is in every vein, it's against any cliché and against any norm which is supposedly followed by the commercial pundits or whatever you want to call them.

How is it different working with Vishal this time?
Very different from the last time. In Kaminey we had this good actor director relationship but during this film he became more than a director. There is a lot of warmth, faith, and sharing. He tells me whatever he feels like. I think of all the film makers I have worked with in my entire life. I trust him more than anybody else because of what he has done for me in these two films. He has pretty much shaped my career. I mean Kaminey and Haider are the two most definitive films in my career and he is responsible for both of them. I have this amazing amount of love for him and gratitude actually because if he hadn't given me these two opportunities, may be people would have never seen this side of me as an actor.

Also Jab We met.
Yes, In fact, Vishal Sir cast me in Kaminey only after Jab We met. He said to me, 'You played your character and you didn't try and change it even though you didn't have so much to say, you just stuck to your part,' and he liked that.

What part of Haider do you identify with?
All of it. Not that I have ever had a journey similar to Haider in my life. I can understand everything about him because he is so human, so imperfect.… To me, Haider is the most vulnerably perfect characters that I have played. I love how he is not a hero. He is actually just a student, who turned into a killer. There is nothing right about his journey, but there is everything human about it. And when I played the character, I actually felt like may be if I was in Haider's situation, I'd probably not even be able to react as well as he does. He is at least trying to think and take the right decision. So many people have met me and told me that when he holds the gun to the uncle, they wanted him to kill him. And I probably would have thought the same way, but the beauty is that he doesn't and that's the message that he wants to give.

The guy who played your younger self looked a lot like you. I thought maybe he was your brother..
Ya, I was surprised that they didn't even tell me. I was like, who is this guy? My brother looks quite different. First of all, he is 18, taller than me, and he has very curly hair so he can't pull off being me anywhere. I don't want him to also, I want him to find his own personality and be himself. He is a better dancer than me, though.

No, shut up!
Hundred times better. I swear, I'll show you videos. Hundred times better than me. He is outstanding, like he makes me feel embarrassed when I look at him dancing. Then he looks at me and says, 'Bro, see you are not practising enough, that why.'

At one time, there was a lot of stress between you and Salman and you guys are like buddies, the chemistry you have with him on Bigg Boss – last year and this year -- is so amazing.
I bumped into him yesterday. There was this Box office Award and I was in the gym when he walked in. He was talking to me and we were chatting. I have always been a fan. There was some misunderstanding long back, but he has been very warm and we have had great fun whenever we met.

You guys should do a movie together.
I wish we do. We did a scene together, actually. We had a lot of fun when we did that one scene in Phata Poster Nikhla Hero. We did a day's shoot. It was a lot of fun.

Shahid, this thought just came to me... have you ever thought of producing a film?
They wanted me to be co-producer on Haider...

Then why didn't you do it?
No, yaar! I didn't feel I had done anything to earn that title... so why should I take it?

RAPIDFIRE
A director you'd want to work with again? Imtiaz Ali.
Your favourite film of 2014: Haider.
Not yours: It is, it honestly is. (A little later) Ok then, Queen.
A role of your contemporary you'd have loved to do: So many choices... Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, Barfi!.... And I have not seen the film, but also, P.K. I am very curious... I'm dying to see that film. It's going to be amazing. Unbelievable.
One actor you want to share the screen with: I want to do a film with Irrfan Sir. Just those three scenes we did together, it was amazing to just observe him. He is a very different kind of actor. He has got a very different take on acting and it's so amazing. So yeah, I would love to do a full film with him.
Arjun, Sushant, Varun, Sidharth, Ranvir... who comes closest to fitting in the Shahid Kapoor role? They all are very original. Wouldn't really ever want to…
Come on! I really like Varun because he is a good dancer. He is fit, which I love about him. Also, he has a very positive energy and I get very good vibes from him. I think his entire family is very warm and that they are very nice people. Whenever I have met his brother Rohit or his dad, they just have very good energy. I really like all of them.