Fancy eateries and fancier prices

Inflation is down by 1% according to Union agriculture minister Sharad Pawar. While the average Indian is still groaning under the burden of 17% inflation of food prices, Mumbai’s restaurant-wallahs are probably rubbing their hands with glee. This way, not only can they continue to charge their exorbitant prices, but they have now increased their profit margins even further. Isn’t life sweet?

So just as the country is buckling down to the task of calculating the financial end of 2009 as March 31 approaches, those in the restaurant business are laughing all the way to their chartered accountants.

So even though this is a column about eating out, when eating a fairly simple pasta - no Norwegian salmon, no truffles which have some long history and geography attached to them - at an average eaterie or even an ordinary fried fish and prawn gassi at a once-regular joint can cost you upward Rs2,000 for four, some serious budgeting is called for.

And heaven forbid that you might dare to venture into territories like “alcohol” or “dessert” or even, gasp, “five stars”, you might just have to take a loan to pay for the meal. And when you’re paying almost as much for vegetarian food as you are for the  non-veg stuff, then it’s nothing short of criminal.

Civil disobedience or satyagraha is one way to deal with it. Like you carry your own truffle oil and parmesan cheese - available at delis across the city - then order the cheapest pasta and pour your own truffle oil and grate your own parmesan all over it.

The cost of the bottle can be amortised over various visits and if you get thrown out, make sure you do not pay for the meal unless the cost of your expensive oil and cheese are deducted from whatever it costs to boil spaghetti and tomatoes, add a touch of herbs and bring it to your table.

Or maybe you could carry your own battery-operated fan (are there tiny battery operated air-conditioners available?), napkins, cutlery, candles, flower vases and any other pointless paraphernalia commonly used and then ask the restaurant to remove the cost of some of its overheads from the bill.

Doesn’t sound suitably Gandhian? But the way things are going, the best form of satyagraha might be for diners to carry their own ingredients to Mumbai’s restaurants and then get them cooked in a manner of their choice. I’m willing to give it a try. How about you?

Let’s start a movement and give them a run for their money. Now what was the cost of gobi again, Mr Pawar?