Handle... with kid gloves

It’s important to soothe your child’s fears — and to do it correctly


d_riddhi@dnaindia.net
While many elders complained about high blood pressure during the unfortunate hours when Mumbai was under seige, children are even more vulnerable to fear and anxiety.

Kids between 8 and 10 years most vulnerable
Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Varkha Chulani confirms that kids between the age group of 8 to 10 would have been affected the most. She says, “Kids fewer than 7 are still in ‘lala land’ but kids between 8 and 10 comprehend much more.”

Understand their fear
Varkha says, “Most important is to respect their fear. If the child wants to sleep in your bedroom for a day, let him. There are chances that they might get scared of a candle burning also, so extinguish it.”

Watch your words
Varkha says, “Don’t use words like ‘you are not strong’ or ‘don’t act like a sissy’. Get these words out of your dictionary.”

Don’t pretend to be
invincible
“If you are scared, be it, show your vulnerable side to the kid, that will make him feel better - that he or she is not the only one feeling afraid. But at the same time, don’t get paranoid,” says Varkha.

Face reality head on
The escapist route isn’t recommended, it’s time to come to terms. “One needs to acknowledge what is happening. So tell them that such unfortunate events do happen and there are certain unkind and cruel people in the world. But please do not tell them that what happened to the victims will never happen to your child.”

Spend  a day with your child
Varkha advises working mothers to try and take a day off and talk to their children and reassure them that you will be with them whenever they need you.

Answer those questions
Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist says, “Do not suppress kids’ questions or answer them in a child-like manner. Try and answer all their questions truthfully. And please don’t ignore them.”

Keep a tab on TV
“Don’t let the kids get exposed to the images of violence. They might create different kinds of phobias,” adds Seema.