Shock therapy to overcome shock

I'm in shock. Make that, I'm undergoing Shock-O-Ray. Let me explain this slowly. I am presently undergoing electric shock therapy to overcome shock.

It's based on the use 'Fire to fight fire' theory. Although in the latter case, too much fire can be deadly.

Electric shock therapy was first used by patients who had inadvertently listened to three or more Britney Spears numbers in less than ten minutes and were numbered beyond reason as a consequence of this thoughtless action. Presently, I'm undergoing the treatment as I've had an adverse reaction to winning an award. You see by some insensitive accident of faith, our TV show (The Week That Wasn't) received an award in the category — Best Show that Nobody Watches — at the Indian Television Awards function. Since the Award show was in Andheri, which is roughly 430 miles from my house, and also as at the time of informing me the organisers forgot to clarify that the nomination was not a blatant act of sarcasm, I didn't attend the ceremony.

However, to go on an actually win this award has left me and the entire team numbed with disbelief and completely disillusioned with what is now clearly a distorted reality.

We have made such a sincere effort to produce the most pathetic form of entertainment at every instance we have put our worst foot forward. We have sworn by the three L's — lack of interest, lack of application and lack of effort. In fact, at this point, mediocrity would be several steps up and a case of playing well above our potential. After consistently setting such low standards and never bothering with having a bar, forget raising the bar, we are just deeply stunned and shocked at this outcome, which is clearly a blot on the very image of television entertainment in India. If this continues, entertainment will head the way of Indian Politics, where only the very worst will be applauded.

Back now to my treatment, and another set of problems, recession has hit the electro-shock therapy industry as well. You see there are three orifices but just two plugs.